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Ryan Keely

  • Penthouse Pet of the Year Runner-Up 2011 and
    Penthouse Pet of the Month October 2009


    Favorite thing about your hometown: Dick’s Drive-In, Lake Washington’s infinite shades of gray, the world-class hiking, and the unparalleled alternative-theater community. And my family, of course.

    College major: Getting laid and being obnoxiously pretentious.

    If you won a million dollars, you’d: Do something practical with it. If I won $2 million, I’d get a pony and a sailboat and be practical.

    Favorite way to relax: Read comic books and masturbate.

    Favorite fantasy: Being fucked in the ass on baby seal-skin by a Russian kidnapper who looks like a Tom of Finland leather daddy.

    Most exciting place you’ve made love: I don’t make love, but I recently got pounded out while bent over the seat of a pickup truck in a questionable neighborhood of downtown L.A.

    Would you rather lose the ability to have orgasms or your right arm? Right arm. I could make some hot amputee porn.

    Whom do you most want to impress?
    My drinking buddies.

    Ever been in a physical fight?
    I’m a lover, not a fighter—except when it comes to my little sister. I will tackle, noogie, and harass that girl for the rest of my life. And of course I beat up evil villains in my spare time.

  • Measurements:36D-26-37
  • Height:5’9”

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