I have a strange problem. I last too long in bed.

Most guys worry about premature ejaculation, but I have extremely delayed orgasms. Whenever I’m with a woman, she usually comes a few times before me, and sometimes she wants to call it quits before I have a chance to climax. What can I do to get off faster? — R.T., Washington

You’re not alone. There’s been a massive rise in porn-related performance issues among young men, and it all comes down to how their sexual patterns were first established. What happens during puberty shapes our brains for the rest of our lives. Our brains are open to everything — they’re big, experience-absorbing sponges — and as we grow into adulthood, the brain cuts off little-used neural pathways.

During that time, we’re supposed to be developing interpersonal relationships, flirting, holding hands and taking part in other age-appropriate mating activities. Now, with high-speed internet, adolescents are developing their sexual habits and relationships with images on a computer screen instead of other human beings. This is why adult content is supposed to be for adults. When adults are exposed to pornography, it doesn’t have a negative effect on performance or sex drive. If anything, it becomes part of a full and diverse sex life.

So adjust your masturbation technique. Men frequently develop a very specific way of holding and tugging on their penis to get themselves off. Frequently, it’s a very intense kung-fu grip that makes ejaculating from any other sensation difficult. You’re going to have to re-sensitize not just your brain, but your penis, too.

Also, don’t use your computer to masturbate. Buy a magazine, read some erotica, find an amazing erotic art book or just use your imagination. Try masturbating in different locations around the house. Don’t masturbate more than five times a week, and if you can, only masturbate three times a week. Experiment with different lubricants, or try not using lube. If you normally jerk off with your dick in a death grip, try a softer touch. Switch hands. And give your junk a chance to chill out once in a while. It’ll take time, but eventually you’ll have a more sensitive penis and you’ll be able to come with your partner.

When you have sex with a girl, keep in mind that hard, furious pounding for a long period of time will probably make both of you numb. Instead of banging her raw, satisfy her and then take a break. Not every sexual encounter needs to end with an orgasm for you. Building that desire and tension will actually help you to eventually come with your partner. Slow down and enjoy the moment.

This column doesn’t constitute medical or professional advice. Always consult a qualified health care professional for your medical, psychological, or relationship problems.