The girl I’m seeing has a serious foot fetish, and I’d like to understand it better.

What is it about feet that’s so appealing? She hasn’t pressed me on getting too crazy yet, but how can I indulge her without getting too far out of my comfort zone? — P.L., Alabama

Every foot fetishist is different. Regardless of their gender, some like men’s feet, some like women’s feet, some like stockings or socks or bare feet. Or dirty socks and then bare feet. There are fetishists who prefer clean feet, dirty feet, stinky feet, sucking on toes, having their toes sucked — You name it, someone likes it.

Since she hasn’t pressed you to participate but has communicated her desires, she seems very respectful of your boundaries. Ask her what she’s into and then try the tamest thing on the list. Check in with yourself after the act, and if you enjoyed it or just enjoyed doing it for her, maybe try something that seems a little crazier.

I’m a fetishist myself. I like boots, high heels, stockings, exciting socks and having my bare, clean feet smelled and sucked. Currently, my partner (who is not a foot fetishist) puts me on my back and fucks me while I put my (clean) feet all over his face and he kisses, smells and licks them. It’s not his thing, but it makes me lose my shit and come really hard, sometimes repeatedly. And while he may not be into my feet, he’s into my orgasms.

We’re now experimenting with me sucking on his (clean) toes, post-shower. We made a deal: I could suck his toes, but I’d have to suck his cock, too. It works out, because as a foot fetishist, sucking his toes makes me want to suck cock and fuck.

As to what causes someone to be interested in feet, nobody knows. But as long as your girl’s fetish — and your playing with her — is safe, sane and consensual, go ahead and indulge.

This column doesn’t constitute medical or professional advice. Always consult a qualified health care professional for your medical, psychological, or relationship problems.