I just started seeing a new guy, and he has a really big dick.

It’s really uncomfortable when we have sex, even when we use a lot of lube. What can we do to make sex easier? — P.W., South Dakota

Sex isn’t just putting a penis in a vagina. It’s deep tongue kissing, oral, fingering, handjobs, footjobs, mutual masturbation, etc. Doing them with a partner is the difference between masturbation and sex.

The vagina is a magical thing, and it can stretch to accommodate shockingly large objects, but only if you get it ready first. Not only is your man going to have to warm you up with lots of kissing and caressing, he’ll likely need to eat your pussy, too.

Coming before penetrative sex will relax your vaginal walls and you’ll produce more natural lubrication. Either have him use his mouth and/or fingers (whichever you refer), or have him masturbate while watching you masturbate.

Once you come, try positions where you can control the thrusting, like girl on top. And go slow. If it hurts, stop, try other sexy, feel-good things, and then go back to penetration when you’re ready. Sex is about the experience, not the orgasm.

This is something you need to do together. Also, it may sound counterintuitive, but work on your Kegel muscles; a strong pussy is more flexible and therefore more accommodating.

This column doesn’t constitute medical or professional advice. Always consult a qualified health care professional for your medical, psychological, or relationship problems.