My wife and I had been trying to get pregnant for months, and I was fed up with sex on a schedule, not to mention no oral or anal.

It was all-vagina, every time. But until we made a date to go to a movie on a Saturday morning, I had no idea she was as sick of it as I was.

Sharon convinced me to go to the first show of the day, at eleven in the morning — saying we could see the movie we wanted without dealing with little kids or teenagers — and afterward we were supposed to meet friends for lunch. Since we had plans for later, I wasn’t surprised when she came downstairs in a blouse and skirt, but I was surprised when we got to the theater and she bought tickets for a movie that was definitely not being marketed to teens. Inside, the theater looked like a sparsely populated AARP meeting. There were four other couples in the theater when the lights went down, and we were the only people who looked to be younger than 65. We were also the only ones sitting farther back than the middle of the fairly large theater.

Any confusion I had about what we were doing there disappeared by the time the first trailer ended. Sharon took my hand and pushed it under her skirt, and I felt her bare thigh above the lacy top of her stocking and the clip of her garter belt. Moving my hand up, I quickly discovered that she wasn’t wearing panties — and her cunt was already dripping with her juices.

As I explored Sharon’s pussy, she reached over to my lap and grabbed my cock, which was rapidly getting harder than it had been in a while. I leaned over to kiss her, but she pushed me back, saying she didn’t want to draw anyone’s attention. No one was giving us a glance, but I let her have her way. Pretending we were just watching the movie was kind of hot.

“Open your pants, Glenn,” Sharon whispered. “I want to give you a handjob. Just for today, let’s do everything but fuck, like we’re teens trying to not get pregnant.”

She got no argument from me. I pulled down my zipper and pushed my pants open so she could get her hand in my boxers. As soon as she had my dick in her hand, I reached for her pussy, but she surprised me by leaning forward in her seat. For a second I thought she wanted me to wait till she got me off, but she used her other hand to pull up her skirt in the back, silently telling me she wanted anal play. Excellent!

I slid my hand under Sharon’s ass and got my middle finger nice and wet with her juices, then moved it back to her asshole. I traced circles around her backdoor a few times, then slid my finger in. She let out a gasp and the pace of her hand on my dick sped up, so I fingered her asshole faster.

Sharon let go of my dick and ran her hand along the outside of her soda, getting it wet with condensation, then she started stroking me with a steady and strong rhythm. I shifted my hand sideways so I could bang her cunt with my thumb, pushing deep into both holes and holding my hand still while she jerked me to climax.

Sharon lifted her hand to her mouth and licked up my come, looking as satisfied as a cat with a cup of cream. “I love that I can get you so hot that you shoot off that hard,” she said, still facing the screen.

“Do you?” I asked. “Can you be as quiet as I was when you come?”

I tried to thrust in and out of her holes again, but my movement was hampered when she leaned back in her seat. “Just stay there,” she whispered. “I got this.”

She pulled up her skirt in the front, so now the whole thing was up around her waist, and I watched with fascination as she frigged her clit. She came quickly and quietly — for her, anyway — her pussy and ass contracting around my fingers.

She caught her breath after a few minutes and then said, “I hear girls these days take it up the ass instead of the pussy so they can’t get pregnant. Meet me in the ladies’ room.” Then she fixed her skirt and walked out.

I zipped up my pants and followed her, of course. As soon as I got in the restroom, I grabbed her and kissed her, my tongue seeking out hers. She unzipped my pants again and pulled me into the handicap stall, pulling down my pants and boxers before pushing me onto the toilet. She bent over, holding the handrails, and took my dick in her mouth, getting me hard again in no time.

She pulled a tube of lube out of her purse, and my jaw hit the floor. I couldn’t believe she’d fucking planned to have anal sex at the movies! She squirted a bunch of lube in my hand, telling me to get my cock ready, then turned her back to me, pulled her skirt up to her waist again, and shoved a lube-covered finger up her ass. I felt like I’d died and gone to heaven.

Sharon positioned herself over my lap, and I guided my dick into her asshole as she lowered herself slowly, moaning, “Oh, baby, you’re so big. Make me take it, Glenn. Make me take every inch.”

I knew what she wanted. As soon as she was fully impaled on my cock, I put one hand on her hip and the other on her shoulder. “Ride me, Sharon,” I said, a little breathlessly. “Fuck my dick with your tight ass.”

Sharon grabbed the handrails again and pumped her hips up and down, clenching her muscles to milk my cock each time she rose. She picked up the pace when I pulled down on her shoulder, taking every bit of my six inches with each stroke. I had never been so far up her ass before. After only a few minutes, I was coming again, shooting deep into her back-door, and a minute later so was Sharon, leaning back against my chest and frigging her clit again. After she stopped shaking, she pulled herself off me. My come was dripping out of her asshole, and I cleaned her up as well as I could.

Sharon pulled a pair of lacy black panties out of her purse and slid them on over her garter belt, winking and telling me that she’d take them off when we got to the car. “Sharon, you’re not going to lunch without panties and with come dripping down your legs.”

“We’re not meeting anyone for lunch today. We’re spending the afternoon at that no-tell motel we went to back when I lived with my parents.”

At the motel, I found out what else Sharon had in her purse: a huge dildo and handcuffs. She had me cuff her to the headboard, fuck her pussy with the dildo, and fuck her ass again with the dildo still in her. Before we went home that night, I came on her tits, in and on her ass, and in her mouth. It was a good thing this was a break from baby-making, because by the time she was done with me, I didn’t think I’d be able to get it up again for a week. Not that I’m complaining.