My fixation started in college, and it started with Rhonda. I can only begin to describe how hot I thought she was. Rhonda was a beautiful young woman, a senior around the same age as me. She had a lithe, toned body and moved with absolute grace. But she was more than just physically exceptional. She was intelligent, witty and compassionate, and I had a wicked crush on her. We moved in the same general circles, so I got to hang out with her socially.

She was always friendly toward me, but I wasn’t sure if she felt even an iota of the attraction I had for her. And I was too chickenshit to make a real move on her.

One evening, there was a party off-campus at someone’s house. I knew Rhonda was going to be there. Summoning my courage, I set out. I promised myself I would give her a hint about my feelings — not so much that I’d spook her, but enough to let her know I was interested in her romantically. If she shot me down, I would somehow live with it.

The party was well underway by the time I arrived. I circulated, saying hello to various friends and acquaintances. I caught a glimpse of Rhonda in the next room. She was with a group of chatting guests.

I edged toward her, but when I had a good view of the scene, I saw a guy had his arm around her. I stopped short. Was he a boyfriend or just a friend?

I backed off and grabbed a beer. I eventually drank quite a few. Somehow, I ended up passed out on a bed upstairs, fully dressed. But at one point I stirred as the mattress shifted.

“This is crazy!” a familiar voice whispered. “Rick’s right here!”

A male voice responded, “You said you wanted to screw right now, babe. This dude’s out cold. It’s here or a closet.”

I heard kissing sounds. My sleepy brain was rapidly putting the situation together. It was Rhonda who’d spoken. I opened my eyes slightly. I was lying along the far edge of the bed in semi-darkness. But there were two bodies next to me, one atop the other. A scant amount of outside light came in through the window.

Rhonda was on the bottom, and the guy from earlier was squirming on top of her, grinding his crotch against her. They were kissing heavily, tongues flashing wetly.

My heart raced, and an emotional pain lanced through me. There was the woman I’d cherished from afar getting it on with another man. And I had a front-row seat to the sexual spectacle.

But pain wasn’t all I felt, I quickly realized. As I watched them undress each other, I saw Rhonda’s bare tits; they were glorious. And when the guy shucked his pants, his big cock sprang into view. I was jealous as hell, yes. But I was excited, too. More than that, somehow my envious energy was magnifying my arousal. My cock grew so hard I thought it might burst out of my jeans.

Breathlessly, I watched Rhonda getting fucked by another man. She lifted her legs and wrapped them around his waist. Her wrists crossed at the nape of his neck. She grinned up into his face as he plowed her.

I was on fire with a strange, potent excitement as her features reflected her ecstasy. A cry climbed out of her throat. The guy gave a loud grunt, and I knew he was spewing his spunk into her. I almost shot off right there.

I played possum until they’d dressed and left. But that night I discovered a deep truth about myself. I didn’t just like to watch two people fuck. I liked it even more having an emotional investment in Rhonda and seeing her with another man. It touched some raw, primal place inside me. I’d never felt so alive as I did that magical night.

The trouble was: How could I recreate something like that?

I had a friend named Jake who was shamelessly into sex of all sorts. I told him about my curious kink, and he was sympathetic and eager to help me out. I was dating a woman named Linda. I liked her a lot, but I was going slow with her. We hadn’t even gone to bed yet, though I sensed she was more than ready.

A plan occurred to me. I explained it to Jake, and he was game. I arranged for a social gathering at my apartment. I invited Linda, and Jake was there along with a few others. I watched Jake making subtle advances toward Linda, and I saw her respond to them. Maybe she was impatient with me. Maybe she just thought Jake was hot.

Wine was imbibed, everybody socialized, and then a while after the party had peaked, my apartment started emptying out. Finally, it was just me in the living room. But I hadn’t seen Linda or Jake leave. I tiptoed back toward my bedroom. Jake had left the door slightly ajar, just like we’d discussed.

Linda and Jake were together on my bed. Even though I’d been expecting it — hoping for it! — the sight was a shock. I felt a reminiscent pain of betrayal and loss. I hadn’t moved fast enough, and now some other man was with my woman. Though I was playing a role, my emotions felt real. I clutched my heart standing at the door, even as my cock grew as hard as steel.

They were halfway undressed, and Jake was sucking on her tits. He had his pants hanging half off his ass.

Linda suddenly called out, “Come in here, Rick! Get a better view.”

Jake froze in mid-grind on top of her. I jumped at first, but realized the jig was up. I obeyed, pushing open the door and entering my bedroom. I expected her to tear me a new one, but instead she offered a wicked grin and said, “Sit down, get comfortable. I didn’t know until tonight that this was what you wanted.”

With that, she pulled Jake’s startled face down on top of hers. Their tongues wrestled in a fierce kiss. Jake got back into his groove. He shimmied his pants all the way off and helped Linda finish undressing.

I sat in a chair in the corner and beheld my perfect view. Jake and Linda lay naked on my bed, not three steps away. This wasn’t like that time with Rhonda. I didn’t have to pretend to be asleep. Everybody was in on it; everyone was playing the same game.

I couldn’t believe my luck!

Jake resumed sucking her lush tits, one after the other. She groaned and shoved each breast hard against his mouth. He kissed his way further down her body, and she happily spread her legs. I gazed at her toned thighs and sleek pussy. She was glistening with anticipatory wetness.

I gasped as Jake put his mouth on her cunt. His tongue lashed her pink flesh, and I put my hand on my crotch and rubbed the blatant bulge there. Excitement and powerful jealousy coursed through my body, awakening every nerve ending.

As Jake ate my woman, Linda grabbed a handful of his hair and humped against his face. Her ass lifted repeatedly off the bed until finally she gave a shout. When Jake came up from his deep dive, he was panting and his chin was shining with her juice.

He had her flavor on his tongue — a taste I had never known!

I rubbed myself harder. Then I remembered what Linda had said: Get comfortable.

She was obviously into this scene and wanted me to enjoy myself.

I stood, quickly stripped and sat back down. By now Jake was on his back, and Linda was taking her place between his spread legs. She had a hungry look on her face.

She scooped up his balls in her hand, kneading them softly, then extended her tongue and licked Jake’s bloated cockhead. As I watched his reaction snap through him, I took my own cock in hand. Pleasure radiated from my groin, touching all my parts as I slowly pumped my shaft.

This was the luxury I hadn’t had that night with Rhonda and her lover. Now I was free to touch myself. I knew Jake wouldn’t mind, and Linda seemed to love it. I caught her glancing at me several times as her head bobbed on Jake’s cock, and her eyes brimmed with lust.

She rode her mouth on him a while but didn’t bring him to orgasm. When she came up panting, Jake reached for her shoulders to pull her up onto him. She went eagerly, taking his spit-wet cock in her hand and getting ready to lower herself onto it.

I jerked my meat harder as I watched Jake’s rod disappear up into her cunt. She started riding him again, this time with her pussy. He caressed her tits as she moved up and down on him. He met her downward motions with opposing upward thrusts of his own.

They were erotic poetry in motion, and I was just a bystander. Excitement swam crazily in me as I pumped my shaft. With my free hand I fondled my balls, which added to my sexual delight.

It was like the thrill of a roller coaster — frightening and wonderful at the same time.

I watched Linda bounce on Jake’s cock until suddenly she cried out again, her body shuddering as a climactic quake hit her. Afterward, she fell to one side.

Jake caught her and set her on her hands and knees. Then he moved in behind her, his slick cock bobbing eagerly. As he slotted into her from behind, I jacked my staff urgently. He was going to do her doggy-style, and I could only watch helplessly.

My brain and heart cried out with dark joy. I played with my cock and balls, staring intently with every muscle tensed.

Jake set right out pounding her. She was braced on her hands and knees. I could see ripples of impact travel through her beautiful body as he drove his cock into her again and again. She whipped her head from side to side, a look of mad ecstasy glazing her face.

He sped up even more, going wild. The fleshy smacks were loud, and another raw cry escaped from her throat. Jake was growling savagely, fucking her so fast he was nearly a blur.

I yowled as my spunk flew. At nearly the same instant, Jake shot off inside her and Linda came with a banshee-like wail. Incredible bliss ripped through me, and the room went hazy. When my vision cleared, the two people on the bed were both smiling at me.