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Last election, Proposition 64 passed in California.

Otherwise known as the Adult Use of Marijuana Act (AUMA), Prop 64 pleased cannabis cultivators, dispensary owners, and non-medical users all over the state. A big win for those invested in cannabis.

Now, I believe the government should stay out of our personal lives. Government solely exists to protect the individual’s rights to life, liberty, and property. Otherwise, they can kick rocks. However, if Washington is going to shove their big, fat, greasy noses into our business when it comes to alternative medicine, I would rather they give us a “go forth” than “go to jail.”

Among other changes, Prop 64 law states that individuals over the age of 21 can legally possess up to one ounce (or eight grams of concentrates) for personal use, including the cultivation of up to six plants. It also reduces penalties for “most illegal cultivation, sale, transport, and possession of sale offenses from felonies to misdemeanors.” Which means it’s happy hour for anyone in California who likes weed, not just those of us with our medical marijuana cards. But I’m sure going to miss the days when celebrities getting caught with a little pot was a massive scandal.

Back in 2007, Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears, Mischa Barton, and Nicole Richie ruled the tabloids like the Rat Pack. Lowbrow trash became high-end fashion. Neon thongs, stringy extensions, sugar-free Red Bull, and jeans so low they dangled on girls’ pubic bones. Celebrity diets consisted of vodka, toilet paper, and Xanax. Exposing your vagina as you tumbled out of an SUV was the new black.

Remember when Nicole Richie was on a fast and loose downward spiral? The rice-cracker-thin socialite flew down the 134 Freeway so high she didn’t even notice that she was entering against the flow of traffic. The police caught up to her, and Richie slammed on her breaks in the carpool lane. When she pulled off her oversized sunglasses, she admitted to being stoned on Vicodin. She reeked of weed. Another confession followed. Within a few hours, Richie was booked at a California Highway Patrol station and her mug shot spread like wildfire though the gossip sites.

Just after Christmas that same year, The O.C. starlet Mischa Barton was arrested while speeding erratically down La Cienega Boulevard in West Hollywood. When the LAPD stopped her car, she blew over the limit and failed to provide a legal driver’s license. When searching the actress’s vehicle, police found a pleasant surprise: a big ol’ bag of weed. Barton only spent a few hours in jail before being released to the tune of $10,000. The squeaky-clean beauty queen had officially solidified herself as a bad girl. (This was just the beginning for Barton.)

And who could forget Britney Spears’s infamous stoner rant caught on film? During her stint with that nothing-burger Kevin Federline, a video leaked of Spears in her signature wifebeater tank top and stained trucker hat. She was as stoned and confused as a teenage girl. While waving a joint in her hand, she belched at the camera and smiled. Federline zoomed in on her.

“Why are you looking through the peephole?” the pop princess shrieked. “You are acting like a cameraman!”

After shaking her head so rapidly it seemed like an effort to literally toss out her thoughts, Britney sighed and grabbed a snack from the table.

“I feel like I’ve been missing out on life,” she lamented. As her shoulders fell, you could feel the weed massaging her tired, tired brain. Aside from shaving her head and smashing the shit out of that paparazzi’s car, this was one of Britney’s most iconic and vulnerable moments.

During the mid-2000s, Lindsay Lohan was arrested every time she left her house. She even made court-ordered ankle monitors trendy when she posed wearing nothing but a bikini, gold high heels, and her SCRAM device. This was her prime. She was the It Girl who fabulously fumbled across the red carpet. Though her drug-possession charge of choice was cocaine, there had been many leaked photos of the actress smoking weed. My favorite? A disposable snapshot of Lindsay with heavy indica eyes staring blankly into the camera, her middle finger raised as a friend leans over her shoulders. In her other hand? A crappy little glass pipe.

But the leader of the pack was Paris Hilton. She was Cherie Currie, Joan Jett, and Lita Ford rolled into one tanned, shimmering gazelle. Hilton had it all, including a myriad of pristine mug shots. In the summer of 2010, Hilton was busted on the Las Vegas strip for hot-boxing her Cadillac Escalade. Police saw the smoke and tapped on her window. After a quick search, they also found cocaine. (Side note: My male model friend dated Hilton during these days. He said she is smart, hilarious, and had the purest coke he ever snorted.) Pleading guilty, Hilton swore to stay out of trouble, pay her fine, and complete 200 hours of community service.

According to the Las Vegas Sun, Justice of the Peace Joe Bonaventure looked long and hard at the hellion hotel heiress during her sentencing.

“I’m going to warn you, Miss Hilton, you’ve now been sentenced to one year in the Clark County Detention Center,” he lectured. “The Clark County Detention Center is not the Waldorf Astoria. But I assure you that if you violate the terms of your probation you will serve one year in the Clark County Detention Center. Treat this very seriously. Do you understand me?”

“Yes, your honor,” she cooed, caressing her loosely curled extensions. “I promise.”

It’s like she knew she was closing off an era.

California now legally accepts the healing powers of cannabis. Drive through Studio City and every other billboard boasts an ad for a new dispensary. Girls stroll Melrose huffing their vape pens while walking their dogs. The infamously evil gateway drug is becoming legit. As Martha Stewart would say, “It’s a good thing.” And it is. I’m just going to miss that decade of scandalous socialites driving in cars with drugs.

Photo: Getty Images / Handout

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The Good Ol' Days

Storyline

Last election, Proposition 64 passed in California.

Otherwise known as the Adult Use of Marijuana Act (AUMA), Prop 64 pleased cannabis cultivators, dispensary owners, and non-medical users all over the state. A big win for those invested in cannabis.

Now, I believe the government should stay out of our personal lives. Government solely exists to protect the individual’s rights to life, liberty, and property. Otherwise, they can kick rocks. However, if Washington is going to shove their big, fat, greasy noses into our business when it comes to alternative medicine, I would rather they give us a “go forth” than “go to jail.”

Among other changes, Prop 64 law states that individuals over the age of 21 can legally possess up to one ounce (or eight grams of concentrates) for personal use, including the cultivation of up to six plants. It also reduces penalties for “most illegal cultivation, sale, transport, and possession of sale offenses from felonies to misdemeanors.” Which means it’s happy hour for anyone in California who likes weed, not just those of us with our medical marijuana cards. But I’m sure going to miss the days when celebrities getting caught with a little pot was a massive scandal.

Back in 2007, Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears, Mischa Barton, and Nicole Richie ruled the tabloids like the Rat Pack. Lowbrow trash became high-end fashion. Neon thongs, stringy extensions, sugar-free Red Bull, and jeans so low they dangled on girls’ pubic bones. Celebrity diets consisted of vodka, toilet paper, and Xanax. Exposing your vagina as you tumbled out of an SUV was the new black.

Remember when Nicole Richie was on a fast and loose downward spiral? The rice-cracker-thin socialite flew down the 134 Freeway so high she didn’t even notice that she was entering against the flow of traffic. The police caught up to her, and Richie slammed on her breaks in the carpool lane. When she pulled off her oversized sunglasses, she admitted to being stoned on Vicodin. She reeked of weed. Another confession followed. Within a few hours, Richie was booked at a California Highway Patrol station and her mug shot spread like wildfire though the gossip sites.

Just after Christmas that same year, The O.C. starlet Mischa Barton was arrested while speeding erratically down La Cienega Boulevard in West Hollywood. When the LAPD stopped her car, she blew over the limit and failed to provide a legal driver’s license. When searching the actress’s vehicle, police found a pleasant surprise: a big ol’ bag of weed. Barton only spent a few hours in jail before being released to the tune of $10,000. The squeaky-clean beauty queen had officially solidified herself as a bad girl. (This was just the beginning for Barton.)

And who could forget Britney Spears’s infamous stoner rant caught on film? During her stint with that nothing-burger Kevin Federline, a video leaked of Spears in her signature wifebeater tank top and stained trucker hat. She was as stoned and confused as a teenage girl. While waving a joint in her hand, she belched at the camera and smiled. Federline zoomed in on her.

“Why are you looking through the peephole?” the pop princess shrieked. “You are acting like a cameraman!”

After shaking her head so rapidly it seemed like an effort to literally toss out her thoughts, Britney sighed and grabbed a snack from the table.

“I feel like I’ve been missing out on life,” she lamented. As her shoulders fell, you could feel the weed massaging her tired, tired brain. Aside from shaving her head and smashing the shit out of that paparazzi’s car, this was one of Britney’s most iconic and vulnerable moments.

During the mid-2000s, Lindsay Lohan was arrested every time she left her house. She even made court-ordered ankle monitors trendy when she posed wearing nothing but a bikini, gold high heels, and her SCRAM device. This was her prime. She was the It Girl who fabulously fumbled across the red carpet. Though her drug-possession charge of choice was cocaine, there had been many leaked photos of the actress smoking weed. My favorite? A disposable snapshot of Lindsay with heavy indica eyes staring blankly into the camera, her middle finger raised as a friend leans over her shoulders. In her other hand? A crappy little glass pipe.

But the leader of the pack was Paris Hilton. She was Cherie Currie, Joan Jett, and Lita Ford rolled into one tanned, shimmering gazelle. Hilton had it all, including a myriad of pristine mug shots. In the summer of 2010, Hilton was busted on the Las Vegas strip for hot-boxing her Cadillac Escalade. Police saw the smoke and tapped on her window. After a quick search, they also found cocaine. (Side note: My male model friend dated Hilton during these days. He said she is smart, hilarious, and had the purest coke he ever snorted.) Pleading guilty, Hilton swore to stay out of trouble, pay her fine, and complete 200 hours of community service.

According to the Las Vegas Sun, Justice of the Peace Joe Bonaventure looked long and hard at the hellion hotel heiress during her sentencing.

“I’m going to warn you, Miss Hilton, you’ve now been sentenced to one year in the Clark County Detention Center,” he lectured. “The Clark County Detention Center is not the Waldorf Astoria. But I assure you that if you violate the terms of your probation you will serve one year in the Clark County Detention Center. Treat this very seriously. Do you understand me?”

“Yes, your honor,” she cooed, caressing her loosely curled extensions. “I promise.”

It’s like she knew she was closing off an era.

California now legally accepts the healing powers of cannabis. Drive through Studio City and every other billboard boasts an ad for a new dispensary. Girls stroll Melrose huffing their vape pens while walking their dogs. The infamously evil gateway drug is becoming legit. As Martha Stewart would say, “It’s a good thing.” And it is. I’m just going to miss that decade of scandalous socialites driving in cars with drugs.

Photo: Getty Images / Handout

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