Some years back,  when I was a newlywed, I grew interested in the connection between the mind and desire. I’d just tied the knot with my wife, Heather. Our relationship was something of a scandal in our snooty urban social circle. I’d left my first wife — a woman in so-called high society — in order to marry her. Our relationship was the talk of the town, mainly because Heather was 15 years younger than my ex. No one knew that my reason for divorce was a sexless, loveless marriage, and I didn’t feel the need to fill them in.

But in return, I dealt with the sideways glances and whispered words. I didn’t mind. I was married to a beautiful woman who wanted to make love to me, and that was all that mattered.

When it came to desiring Heather, I had no shame — and to this day,... Read More