Last week, I walked in on my two roommates arguing over who has the bigger dick. It started off silly enough. They were making jokes about the size of their hands and feet. Then it progressed to a point where Jay actually went off in search of a measuring tape.

By that point, even I was curious to see whose dick was the biggest. That’s when it hit me — the perfect idea to end the competition in a way that would make everyone happy, including me.

When Jay returned, I sidled in between the two playfully indignant men and said, “Boys, this contest requires an impartial judge. Fortunately for you, I’m available.”

I slipped my fingers into each of their waistbands and pulled them both close. “What do you say? Do you agree to allow me to settle this?”

Jay... Read More