1 — Surenda Oral Vibrator $43
Not to suck my own dick, but I make the best, most addictive chocolate chip cookies known to man. I will admit there was a time when I made extremely boring, uninspired cookies using the recipe on the chip bag. Then one day my son broke it to me, sounding a lot like Larry David: “Can’t you put anything else in these cookies? It’s just chocolate chips and there aren’t even that many. Some of these cookies only have two or three chips. What’s the deal with that?” Nothing like a four-year-old telling you that you’re phoning it in to light a fire under your ass, I suppose.

Since the Boy was my target demographic, I deferred to his expertise. “What do you suggest? How can I do better?” He advised that I add both chocolate chunks and... Read More