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Are You Lonesome Tonight? - Oct. 2017

Are You Lonesome Tonight? - Oct. 2017

  • A Penthouse Letter by Chris Nieratko

1 — Forced Orgasm Belt & Thunderstick Super Charged Kit $125
This is the perfect gift for anyone who enjoys the classic My-Wife-is-A-Transexual-in-Yoga-Pants gag. (Disclaimer: I’m in no way suggesting that marrying a transsexual is a joke. It’s simply that all the trans gals I know tend to use discretion and not wear tight-ass yoga pants with their rods visible.)

My wife is a busty blonde who always catches looks and catcalls from creeps. On numerous occasions she’s put a dildo in her white yoga pants to give the effect that she has a massive penis. The problem always ends up being that the dildo doesn’t stay in place, negating the joke. Now with this Forced Orgasm Belt, she can grocery shop while wearing a battery-powered wand securely in her pants, allowing her to multitask—satisfying... Read More

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