I’m a guy of twenty-six who has been smoking since the age of fourteen.

I have always been extremely shy and withdrawn. I had few friends and I spent most of my childhood and adolescence being constantly ridiculed for my chubby, baby-faced appearance and for being the epitome of the “milquetoast” or bookworm.

The idea of smoking in front of anyone else terrified me. Smoking was so much out of character, that I felt I would lay myself open to even more scorn and derision if any of my classmates ever caught me puffing on a cigarette.

Similarly, I have never been able to bring myself to smoke in front of my parents since I have always been “their little boy” who was too old-fashioned and wholesome to indulge in such a practice.

Therefore, I always had to sneak both smoking and masturbating when no one was home or I did it on dark deserted streets or in the dim safety of movie theatres where no one could see me.

Strangely enough, I ended up marrying a vocal nonsmoker. Two years after our wedding, she came home early from work and discovered me smoking. I was compelled to admit the entire story, which shocked her a great deal at first. Since then she has been extremely jealous of all girls who smoke since she knows they turn me on. She can’t understand, and I’m not sure I blame her, that all these girls mean nothing to me at all except for their smoking.

I have absolutely no interest in their bodies and have no desire whatever to even talk to them, much less to have sexual contact with any of them. All that appeals to me is the cigarette in their hand and the clouds of smoke they are inhaling and exhaling.

I’m so very grateful that my wife has on occasion sacrificed her moral convictions to satisfy my fetish. She has smoked from time to time in order to keep me from looking at others for even a few minutes and teaching her to smoke gave me almost unbearable pleasure. The first time she inhaled deeply without coughing, I nearly fell off the couch in ecstasy.

I certainly do enjoy normal intercourse regularly and we’ve had a very close, rewarding sexual relationship. However, I must also smoke and masturbate. Often I masturbate while watching my wife smoke.

Also, smoking is frequently a prelude to intercourse since it never fails to give me a huge erection. What is particularly exciting to me is blowing smoke into each other’s mouth during foreplay, which is enough to keep me going at sex for two hours.

Now, at twenty-six, I find that this smoking fetish is growing in intensity and I can’t guess where it will all lead to. I suppose I might wind up raping a pack of cigarettes.

I live in a constant state of stimulation every minute of my waking hours. Everywhere I go, on streets, in restaurants, in theatres, on television and in motion pictures, there are pretty girls smoking all around me and I must have several dozen erections each day.

Smoking is continually on my mind and I cannot go anywhere without thinking about it. I still watch girls constantly — the younger the better. I get turned on most by attractive young girls in their early teens and the larger the drag they take, the better my enjoyment.

I travel occasionally and, thanks to my wife’s prodding, I’ve got up the courage to smoke in front of other people, mostly in Europe where no one I know will see me. Now and then my wife and I do it together in a park or theatre. I still can’t get enough of it and I doubt that I ever will.

I’d really like to know if there are others out there who share my abnormality. I’ve read that many men hate the sight of a woman or girl smoking but are there also some others who just love to watch their wife or girlfriend smoke? If so, can anyone figure out why smoking could possibly be erotic?