When I tell people I’m a videogame tester, they always say that I have every adolescent boy’s dream job.

But there’s more to quality-assurance testing than just playing games. I’ve even had some crazy sex-on-the-job experiences that have surpassed my fantasies — and I have a pretty out-there fantasy life!

The first thing I should say is, yes, I am a geek. Getting girls has never been much of a problem, though, and not just gamer girls, but certified hotties. I think it has to do with the fact that I own my nerdiness and treat every woman I meet like gold.

When I got hired for my first QA job, my boss was this sexy fortysomething, a very serious type. She was incredibly demanding, and when we missed bugs in the games, she would go ballistic. She always wore very short skirts and had great legs, and had long blonde hair that she would twist up in a bun, but I didn’t even allow myself to think of her as spank-bank material because she was kind of scary. Then one day I was working late — it was crunch time on a new game — and she came over to check on me. She stood behind me as I was playing and started rubbing my shoulders. I could tell this was an opening, so I pulled her toward me to kiss her. But she wasn’t looking to make out.

“You look really stressed,” she said. “Why don’t you let me help you with that?” She bent down and opened my jeans. I wasn’t about to stop her. She kind of went crazy on me, jerking me off and being really aggressive about it. I had never seen or experienced anything like it before. She was like a wild woman, hell-bent on taking the come right out of me.

From that day on, we never said a word about what happened, but from time to time she would text me pictures of herself, very carefully leaving out her face. I would get a shot of her small but perky tits — and one particularly interesting picture of her doing something extremely naughty with an old-school joystick — and I knew it was her way of saying, “Come into my office.” It didn’t matter if it was after-hours or right in the middle of the day — when she texted I came, and then I came. The other guys knew what was going on and were constantly asking me for details, but I just left it to their imaginations.

At my next job there was this really cool chick — let’s call her Kim — working as a tester. She and I would hang out at work together for ten-hour days, and sometimes keep playing afterward. She was a typical gamer girl: smart, introverted, with a great sense of humor and absolutely no fashion sense. I could tell that there was a great body underneath the oversize shirts she always wore, but if I ever paid her a compliment, she laughed it off.

One night I was part of a team Kim was leading on a raid in World of Warcraft, and I saw her in a whole new way. She was powerful, malicious, and … hot! As soon as I could get her alone in the break room the next day, I kissed her. She responded eagerly and led me into the women’s bathroom, which we both knew would be empty. Once we were locked inside, I stopped kissing her long enough to pull off her shirt and bra so I could get my hands on the most perfect pair of extra-large D-cups. I knew she was stacked!

For someone who was very reserved at work, she got really wild when I sat her up on the sink facing me. Our clothing came off quickly because I just had to get inside her. Kim later told me that it was the first time she’d had sex in months, but in the moment all I could focus on was how wet she’d gotten for me. She came multiple times with me inside her, and when I was about to let go, she pulled me out in time to get down on her knees with her mouth wide-open, ready and willing to swallow every last drop. We quickly pulled ourselves together and went back to our stations with no one the wiser.

Kim and I dated for about a year, but we broke up around the time of a local annual gamer convention. I bounced back by checking out the women in sexy costumes from their favorite games. There was one girl dressed as Cammy from Street Fighter. She had on the signature red beret and the tight green bodysuit, which was so small and transparent that her nipples were in full view. She came over to talk to me and I invited her to meet up with a group for drinks later that night.

“Cammy” came to the bar in costume and got many stares from every man in the place, but the two of us didn’t stay long. Back at my apartment, she got on all fours and asked me to fuck her while she was wearing her costume — which for some reason was even sexier than being with her naked. I will never forget pulling that leotard to the side to reveal a juicy, shaved pussy that I ravaged with pleasure.

The next morning she took a good look at my apartment — a total post-breakup bachelor pad with video-games and pizza boxes everywhere — and said good-bye so fast I couldn’t even ask for her number. That’s okay, though, because my new girlfriend is totally cool with my lifestyle. She’s a gamer, too. She’s funny, she kicks my ass at NBA 2K13, and she’s an absolute animal in bed — basically everything I could want in a woman.