When my boyfriend and I broke up for a while, I had great sex with someone new. Now that we’re back together, how do I get my guy to give me that kind of mind-blowing sex? — K.R., New Jersey

No two people fuck the same, because no two people are the same, and no two relationships are the same. So I’m sorry, but your man won’t fuck you like your fling did.

But I bet part of the reason your fling was so much fun was because he was a new, casual partner. You probably felt freer to express yourself, try new things and explore each other’s body.

When we’re in long-term relationships, we tend to fall into routines. There’s a reason there are so many articles and books on how to spice up your sex life. Without work, sex with a long-term partner can become rather monotonous.

Think back to the beginning of your relationship, when things were fresh, shiny and new. I bet you were initiating sex at different times and in different places. The most important thing for long-term partners to do is make out more. For some reason, when we get into relationships, deep tongue kissing declines.

Plant yourself on your man’s lap and initiate some tonsil hockey. Groom yourself for sex like you did when you first started dating. Tease your partner with slutty text messages and let him “catch” you lounging around in your (cute) panties.

Read a few pages of erotica before you go to bed at night. Most importantly: ask for things in bed. No one is a mind reader. If you don’t ask for what you want, you’ll never get it.

Good luck, and if you still need to get a sex fix, learn to cheat discreetly.