My boyfriend, who’s in the Army, came home from Afghanistan in a wheelchair.

He can still have sex, but I’m not sure what will give him the most pleasure. Do you have any suggestions? — C.Y., Colorado

I’m so proud of you for standing by your man and accepting his new condition. That says a lot about your character and the depth of your love.

Paraplegics can and do enjoy healthy sex lives. Your man may not be able to use his lower half as much as before, but he’s going to have great upper body strength to support you in girl-on-top positions and himself in missionary variations.

Work on your girl-on-top positions, maybe do some extra squats at the gym so you have more thigh strength and stability. A fun position is one I call The Frogger: straddle your partner with your feet on either side of his hips.

Then stabilize yourself by cradling your hands behind his head and moving up and down. Experiment with how you place your feet, maybe turning them out or coming up on your tiptoes to see what it feels like.

He can grab your hips and use his new upper-body strength to support your weight and control the thrusting, literally lifting you up and down on his cock.

As with any big change in a relationship, keep the lines of communication open and ask what’s working for him and what’s not. There’s a very supportive community out there for people with disabilities and their partners.

WellSpouse.org is great group if you’re your boyfriend’s primary caregiver. Ableize.com has a wonderful message board about sexuality and the disabled. As a disabled vet, your man is also entitled to tons of discounts from a massive list of companies.

Check VeteransResource.org. You’ll also find some good support at WoundedWarriorProject.org.

This column doesn’t constitute medical or professional advice. Always consult a qualified health care professional for medical, psychological, or relationship problems or quesions.