Baseball’s best opening-month performances.

I’m a Brewers fan. That’s what happens when you grow up in Milwaukee. Last season opened with a monthlong individual performance that set franchise records and was the talk of the league. In fact, the numbers this guy put up were so impressive that the Chicago Cubs, Milwaukee’s divisional archrival, wondered about steroids. The league wondered, too — officials began testing the player’s blood and urine before April was over.

His name was Eric Thames. He was 30 years old. He’d washed out of the league in 2013 and had played the previous three years for a Korean team. For the Brewers, he hit seven home runs in his first 12 games. He tattered in five straight contests. Midway through April, he’d homered more than the entire Boston Red Sox team.

Fellow Brewers began calling him Superman. Teammate Ryan Braun said he’d never seen a two-week stretch like this. Thames ended the month with 11 home runs in all, a Brewers April record, hit .345, and posted a sparkling .810 slugging percentage.

And then Superman fell off a kryptonite cliff. In May he hit .221. In June he hit — if that’s the right word — a miserable .163. He did have a couple good bounce-back months, including September, when the Brew Crew were in a playoff race and the outfielder/first-baseman hit .328. He ended the season with 31 home runs, tied for the team lead.

I think I can speak for the Brewers’ most famous fan, longtime radio announcer Bob Uecker (aka George Owens from the TV sitcom Mr. Belvedere, and David Letterman’s favorite guest) in saying it will be interesting to see how Thames starts off this year.

His blistering April got me wondering: What players this century have had the best opening month? Diving into online baseball almanacs, I assembled a lineup of torrid season starts. Nine hot Aprils, if you will. (Get your mind out of the gutter.) Did Eric Thames make it? Read on!

Darin Erstad (Anaheim Angels, 2000)
It seems fitting to begin with a leadoff hitter. Not to mention a guy who destroyed major-league pitching at the very start of the century. The North Dakota native came out of the gate hot as blazes, smacking 14 hits in his first five games. By month’s end he’d set an MLB record for April hits, tallying a bananas 48. He batted a scorching .449. Hats off, Darin, hats off.

Barry Bonds (San Francisco Giants, 2004)
Leaving aside the question of chemical enhancement, it’s hard not to stand in awe of this otherworldly April. Statistically, it could be the greatest ever. Bonds reached base seven out of every 10 trips to the plate. That’s what happens when you hit .472 and get walked a crazytown 39 times. Along with 10 home runs and 21 RBIs, he posted an extraterrestrial 1.132 slugging percentage.

Albert Pujols (St. Louis Cardinals, 2006)
The Dominican All-Star, 26 years old in 2006, crushed 14 home runs that April, setting an MLB record. He hit .346, while slugging at a .914 clip. Midway through his first monthly split, he blasted four home runs in a row, becoming the twentieth player in history to do so. In his next at-bat, he socked a double off the wall in right-center. Had it cleared the top, Pujols would have been the first player to go yard five consecutive times.

Alex Rodriguez (New York Yankees, 2007)
Rodriguez also launched 14 baseballs into the seats, entering the record books alongside Pujols. Four games into the season, he clubbed a walk-off grand slam. Locked in the entire month, the pinstriper hit .355 in April and barely looked back, winning his third MVP award with a .314 season BA, 54 home runs, and an eye-popping 156 runs batted in.

Matt Kemp (Los Angeles Dodgers, 2012)
Following a season where he led the National League in home runs (39) and RBIs (126), the Oklahoma-born outfielder picked up where he left off, and then some. “The greatest April ever by a hitter who played his home games at sea level,” concluded ESPN baseball analyst Jayson Stark. Kemp hit .417, cracked 12 home runs, knocked in 25, and scored 24 runs himself. Oh, and he was voted — no duh — National League Player of the Month.

Troy Tulowitzki (Colorado Rockies, 2014)
The Golden Glove shortstop known as “Tulo” had his best month ever offensively that April — and the best start in the league by far. Consider the home-field numbers. On the morning of April 30, Tulowitzki was batting .563 at Coors Field (yes, you read that right), with an OBP of .643, and a slugging percentage of 1.094. To quote Dickie Roberts in the David Spade comedy: “That’s nucking futs!” His overall April slash line? .381/.495/.762.

Bryce Harper (Washington Nationals, 2017)
Now we come to the Nationals. This team gets off to hot starts. And much of that is due to their superstar right-fielder Bryce Harper, the hottest April hitter this decade. He’s also baseball’s best opening day hitter, with a league-leading five HRs, including two on Opening Day 2013. Last April, Harper went on a tear, batting .391, reaching base at a .510 pace, and setting a new MLB record with 32 runs scored.

Ryan Zimmerman (Nationals, 2017)
If Harper is greased-lightning out of the gate, Ryan Zimmerman, now 33, usually starts slow. That all changed last season. Healthy coming out of spring training, the veteran first-baseman had a dream April, leading the MLB in batting average (.420), RBIs (29), and slugging percentage (.886). He was voted National League Player of the Month.

Eric Thames (Milwaukee Brewers, 2017)
He hit an MLB-best 11 dingers. He led baseball in OPS (slugging plus on-base percentage). He crossed the plate 28 times, third-best in league history. And Thames joined Willie Stargell in the MLB record books as the only guy to hit eight home runs against the same team in April. The squad he terrorized? NL Central rival Cincinnati. As a Brew Crew fan, I’m hoping Thames gives Bob Uecker plenty of reason this year to drawl, “That’s… OUTTA HERE!