“Go on Tinder and have a one-night stand with a hot guy with a big dick.”

Bad Bitch In Training
How does one get over shit and not feel like a victim/disrespected. Basically, how do you find the most badass strength and confidence? I’ve always looked up to strong women and I’m just not there yet.

This is a most challenging question because I am still trying to figure it out myself! And a lot of days I don’t feel so badass, but mostly I do. Here’s how: I realized I control my own destiny, that I have the power and the choice to live the life I want. I spent so many years in pain and trying to mask it with drugs, booze, men, sex, work, and so on. Finally, I had an epiphany that I was actually in control of everything and nothing all at the same time. I spent years dating assholes, and guess what? I chose to date the men who weren’t capable of meeting my needs. So to change that, all I had to do was stop dating assholes! It was really simple. The better choices we make for ourselves the better we will feel about ourselves. The more we love ourselves the higher our standards become. Being disrespected is not an option. Through a lot of therapy and yoga, I also came to understand that I am not a victim of my childhood. There is something much bigger than our experiences in life, and it lives inside us and transcends all. It’s a lot of work to clean off the light that’s inside us that life has piled shit on. But start scrubbing. I suggest yoga and writing affirmations on your mirror that say, “I’m a badass bitch and I know what I want.” Soon enough you will bring out the badass bitch that knows what she wants. Much love to you and good luck on your journey!

Champagne Room Papi
My fiancé and toddler son’s father took a job managing a strip joint about a year ago. It has not been good for our relationship. During the past couple of months he has started coming home drunk or not at all. He won’t answer his phone. When he finally comes home he says he’s been out with his boys. I don’t believe him. Do you think a man can work at a strip club without testing out the merchandise? Especially when he’s the manager and the girls are probably throwing it at him because they think he has money. Also, would you stick around for the sake of a child?

I would never suggest staying in an unhealthy relationship for the sake of a child. That makes no sense. Your child needs a healthy environment to grow up in and at least one happy, present parent to thrive. Staying and living in dysfunction will fuck up your kid more than growing up in a co-parenting situation. Life is way too short to stay in a relationship that doesn’t feel good. As for your fiancé, it sounds like you may want to hold off from walking down the aisle. Not coming home? Not answering the phone? Girl… you deserve better. I believe some men could work at a strip club and not get involved with the women there, and that would be a man who’s gay. Just saying! Tell him if he doesn’t get another job or stop staying out all night you’re leaving his ass. If you really love him, give him a chance to make it up. If you don’t, then I would say cut your losses and move on. Good luck!

Wise To Layer
I was in a four-year relationship (off and on) with someone who was a functioning alcoholic. I ignored the big red flags and stayed. Recently, I found out he’d been texting ex-girlfriends and I caught him on the phone one night with a secretary from his job. His response was one of no remorse — he just told me she wants to fuck him. I left immediately and blocked him, but I feel so hopeless and used. I know I should have seen this coming, but stupidly, I fell for him. Now I feel empty and sad. I’m in my forties, by the way, and I thought I was past all this. Any suggestions on how to feel better?

I really feel for you. Heartbreak is the worst. Sometimes the disappointment feels like it’s going to swallow us whole. But the good news is it sounds like you are on the right track. You’re already very self-aware and realize you ignored some major red flags. Next time don’t ignore them. Run from them… fast. Shut ’em down quick. Don’t dive in. Also, good for you for leaving him and blocking him immediately. You might feel hopeless and used, but remember that you are in control of changing those feelings. It’s good to mourn the loss but it’s also good to work on moving on. I’m not saying to go fuck some guy right away, but I’m also not telling you to not do that. Do whatever makes you feel better. Maybe get some new clothes, splurge on some amazing highlights, go out, get tipsy, go on Tinder and have a one-night stand with a hot guy with a big dick. Fuck your loser alcoholic ex. You are SO MUCH BETTER than him! Now you have the freedom to meet a billionaire with a yacht and not be dealing with peasantry. Have fun getting new dick.

Mind Your Business
Any advice for creating your own brand? And what are some do’s and don’ts for creating a clothing line?

Hey future CEO. My first piece of advice for creating a brand is… don’t fake it. You have to mean it. If you are creating a brand, the brand needs a story and a message. And it must be authentic. So first think about what your message and story is. It’s imperative. I mean, you could just pull something out of thin air and it might even work, but you won’t ever get any respect from me if it’s just some bullshit jumping on the bandwagon stee.

Some do’s:
Do be ready deal with a lot of unforeseen obstacles.
Do have a good therapist on call.
Do have the ability to handle stress and thrive under pressure.
Do have an open mind and a willingness to learn from others.
Do get back up when you fall. Because you’ll be falling a lot!

Some don’ts:
Don’t ever think you know everything.
Don’t bite the hand that feeds you.
Don’t be corny.
Don’t be annoying.
Don’t be a jerk.

Hope this helps!

Give Rise
How do you continue to create or be inspired without having  ideas simply pop into your head?

Oh, I totally struggle with this. I’ve learned that when I’m not feeling inspired to be designing for Married to the Mob, then it’s a good time to put my energy into another project like my podcast, or sit down and write this column, or think about another project that will help satisfy my insatiable appetite to create. If I have a deadline and must create something but am not feeling inspired or into it, then I just take a Klonopin and take a nap for a couple hours. And when I wake up, I just fucking do it. Sometimes you just have to fucking do it, inspired or not! I love this question! Hope you love my answer.

Need Advice? Email leah@penthouse.com