“I’ve had a boyfriend pull my tampon out with his teeth. (That’s called “mousetailing,” by the way.)”

Dirtbag
Hi Leah. I really need to know how I can fuck my ex-girlfriend’s twin sister. I want her twin sister now that I have moved on. I know for a fact that you also have a twin sister and you have fucked her boyfriend! Leah, tell me how to manifest this impeccable goal of mine. I need to accomplish this feat for whatever it’s worth. There has to be a very good explanation for what happened between you two. How did you end up sharing the same man’s dick??? — Texas

Hi Texas. I actually don’t have a twin sister but I will take that as a huge compliment because my sister is extremely hot. I’m also pretty sure we have never shared the same dick. Though there are a few guys we might have swapped the same saliva with on a drunken blackout night. It’s major sister code to never share dick. At least with me and mine. Maybe your ex and her sister hate each other? That would be the only way you would have a shot. Maybe you still love the original twin. I mean, maybe you haven’t really moved on — after all, it’s her twin you’re after. If you really have moved on, wouldn’t you want someone that doesn’t look identical to your ex? Think about that.
By the way, you sound like a piece of shit.

Keep It Moving
Hey Leah. I recently met a guy who’s been separated for a year and a half and I’m pretty into him. We hooked up and he messaged me late a few nights ago when he was drunk. Do you think I should leave it alone since it seems like just a hookup situation, or try and take it further? And if so, how? I have such a hard time being open and vulnerable. Any advice would be great. — K.

K: It sounds like it’s too soon to tell whether this is something that’s good for you or not. You have to give it more time. Being separated for a year and a half is a long time, so there aren’t any red flags there. Also, what’s wrong with a hookup situation? Or do you know you need something more? Take it slow with this guy if you are having hesitation. Don’t forget to keep a rotating roster of men. It helps keep things from getting too serious with any of them. Besides, it’s likely that they are all assholes who will disappoint you. Focus on YOU and making MONEY. Men will always disappoint, but owning real estate won’t ever cheat on you.
Sorry I’m such a jaded bitch!

Seven Year Itch
Hi Leah. I have been with the father of my two children for seven years, but we never married. We dated for two months and then I got pregnant. From the start there were red flags, but I stuck it out for the sake of my kids. It’s been a real rocky relationship with a lot of fighting and miscommunication. He is unable to connect emotionally and always shuts down when I want to talk about us. I’ve suggested couples therapy, but he won’t go. Over the last year, he has been pulling away dramatically. He didn’t have the courage to end it, so I did. To make the transition easier, I told him he could temporarily live in the basement. My concern is that he won’t find the motivation to leave. After I broke up with him, a coworker confessed his true feelings for me. He is a sweet person and we have a strong connection. I am in no way ready for another relationship, but in the meantime, I’ve developed an emotional relationship with this guy to cope. He is also going through a serious breakup, so we’re leaning on each other for support. I’m developing the urge to turn this emotional relationship into a physical one. The last time I felt this way was over seven years ago, and while it’s exciting, it’s also very frustrating because for one, I should be focusing on my situation, and two, my children’s father is still living with me. I’ve spent the last seven years sacrificing my happiness for my children’s father and our kids. I’m a great mom, but I also have needs and feel like I’ve earned the right to be selfish. Should I give in to my sexual urges despite my children’s father living in the house, or should I push those feelings aside and wait?

Girl!! Tell your bum-ass baby daddy to find a new place to live! Or have him babysit so you can go get some new dick from your coworker. You are a stand-up woman! Honestly, kudos to you for sacrificing your own happiness to try to make your family work, but you only live once, babe. This is it, so make it COUNT! Life is too short to stay with a caveman who can’t communicate. I think you should absolutely give in to your sexual desires and urges. You’ve had them on the back burner for seven fucking years. You are not being selfish by wanting to enjoy yourself. Your kids need you to be happy. You will be a better mom when you are getting dicked-down properly. You can have a sexy love affair while also focusing on how to get your kid’s dad the fuck out of the house. I promise. Now, go live your best life, girl!

The Red Sea
Hi Leah! Dedy from the Period Blog here. First of all, thank you for reviewing the Little Red Kit! Second of all, I’ve been following you since 2008. Married to the Mob gave me my badass confidence to pursue anything I put my mind to and has set me on the path that I am on today! So, thank you for that.
As you know, menstrual education is super important for both females and males, and is even more important as we grow older and start thinking about period sex. What are your thoughts on period sex? Do you love it? Hate it? Tips?

Hi Dedy! Shout-out to the Period Blog! Your Little Red Kit is amazing and I salute your for being so active in the fight against the menstrual taboo!
Okay, period sex. If a man isn’t down to fuck you on your period, he is not a man. Maybe at the beginning of your cycle, sex can wait because that heavy flow is no joke. But it’s all about throwing that towel down on the bed (or floor or dining table) and getting bloody and nasty. There is always the shower (I’m not a shower-sex person, but it’s great for period sex). And the best part about period sex? No chance of getting pregnant! When I’m in a relationship or have a steady booty call, I absolutely don’t expect the sex to be put on pause because I have my period. I even expect to get my pussy eaten while my tampon is in. I’ve had a boyfriend pull my tampon out with his teeth. (That’s called “mousetailing,” by the way.) So, I don’t love or hate it, it’s just something that happens, and for me, I need a man who isn’t scared of blood. He doesn’t have to be a vampire, but he must be okay with getting vagina blood all over him.
Hope this answers your question! XO

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