It turns out my new boyfriend is a cross-dresser — and I’m turned on by seeing him in women’s clothing.

He’s still nervous about dressing up in front of me, though. What can I do to make him comfortable?

— L.Y., New York

The fact that your boyfriend has shared his fetish with you at all is huge, and you should take joy in that. It may take time for him to feel comfortable sharing more of his feminine side with you, though. It’s not always easy to share something like that with a new partner.

When he does start to show you more of his womanly side, verbally encourage him by telling him how hot he looks and how much it turns you on seeing him all dressed up.

He may not share his fetish with you all the time because he probably enjoys “vanilla” sex as well. Don’t make his fetish the center of your sexual attention. That could kill the mood just as much as ridiculing him for it would. Instead, make sure to develop all areas of your sex life and enjoy a variety of sexual activities. Find out what else he enjoys and indulge his other kinks, too. Just because cross-dressing is a little kinky doesn’t mean it can’t get old.

This column doesn’t constitute medical or professional advice. Always consult a qualified health care professional for your medical, psychological, or relationship problems.