I’m a 65-year-old man with two grown children, and the woman I’m dating is 32.
Our age difference upsets my children, but it doesn’t bother me. How would you deal with the situation? — M.S., Florida
It’s always hard to see a parent with a new partner. Children, even grown children, are always a little tough on a parent’s new partner because they love you and want to protect you.
Dating when there’s a big age difference is always going to be a challenge. You have to consider whether or not she wants children with an older partner. Do you want to have children again? This is something to consider if you are having a serious relationship with a woman in her 30s. If you’re just having a fling, this is less important, but it sounds like you’re serious about this woman.
Your children may also be concerned that she’s going to take financial advantage of you. Rules about community property, cohabitation and common-law marriage vary by state. Make sure to speak to an attorney familiar with family law in your area to see if you will need a cohabitation agreement to protect your assets. You should also go over your will and life insurance policy, and see if it makes sense to put some of your larger assets into a trust. And be sure to keep all bank accounts and financial dealings separate.
Taking these steps should calm your children’s fears and show them that you’re protecting yourself and their inheritance in case things go south. Then follow your heart and hopefully your children will come around.
This column doesn’t constitute medical or professional advice. Always consult a qualified health care professional for medical, psychological, or relationship problems or quesions.