Since I was a girl of nine (I am now a widow of thirty-nine) I have held the view that an enema is a pleasurable rather than an unpleasant experience.

When I was a schoolgirl, I spent a week in hospital after an operation. During that week I received several enemas. Although I felt embarrassed and humiliated, I actually enjoyed the experiences in a manner that is now difficult to recall precisely. So lasting was the impression that I have never forgotten it and I have tried to relive it many times since. Between nine and nineteen I used to dwell on every detail and it was my principle fantasy when I masturbated. The mere sight of an enema syringe in a surgical store was enough to excite me.

I purchased a syringe when I was at college but self-administration was quite unsatisfactory. I had a girlfriend who was a nurse and the first person to whom I confessed my unusual interests. When she offered to repeat the treatment, I accepted willingly and I found the experience very satisfying. After several occasions she proposed we switch roles so that I became the “nurse.” I found this so very satisfying that I surprised myself and begun to wonder what was wrong with me.

By now I was enjoying normal sexual relationships with men and I began to realize that I had still one step to go to achieve my real desire. I wanted a man to administer the intimate enema treatment but I could not bring myself to discuss it with a male friend. Then, one evening I was at a party where there was a fair amount of sexual activity going on. I found myself in a bedroom with a partner who put me across his knee, took my panties down and gave me a playful spanking which I enjoyed very much. He became more intimate, separated my buttocks and inserted a vaselined finger up my anus. I could not disguise my intense sexual pleasure and when he asked if I was enjoying it I admitted I did,

“Because it felt like being given an enema.”

He proceeded to cross-examine me and extracted my first full confession to a man. To my delight he was completely understanding and offered to provide me with the full treatment just as I had described it.

I could scarcely wait till the following evening when I visited his apartment. The anticipation was almost unbearable. After a fantastic half-hour across his knee we went into the bedroom where he gave me a large, warm, soapy enema just as the nurse had done when I was a child. The only difference was that as he syringed me he masturbated me. The sensation was indescribable, I came almost immediately and by the time the enema was finished I had had several orgasms.

He was very experienced and I learned for the first time that other women derived sexual satisfaction from the same treatment though very few cared to admit it. We subsequently had intercourse and before I left I had a second enema, even more exciting than the first.

I continued to visit him about once a week and on the third occasion we reversed the roles of “nurse” and “patient.” He enjoyed both roles but his prefrence was for the active role and mine for the passive.

Two years later I married another man who had no interest in my “special” activities. We had a normal relationship and were happy. I was never unfaithful in the accepted meaning of the word but I did very occasionally visit my former partner only to repeat the treatment that had affected me so profoundly.

My husband was killed in an automobile accident and I am now a widow with no children. I indulge in my former pursuit when the opportunity arises, which isn’t often, but I still get tremendous anticipation whenever the day arrives. The same acute, mixed, bitter-sweet sensations are always there; being undressed, intimately examined, having my buttocks separated and my anus vaselined and finally being thoroughly syringed and masturbated simultaneously until I don’t know which urge to obey first.

Although I now know that my reactions are not unique, I always wonder how many other women have and enjoy similar experiences. And when I hear someone say that they dread the prospect of an enema I feel they just don’t know what they’re missing!