At a bed-and-breakfast that caters to swingers, everyone leaves their reservations at the door.

On a Thursday afternoon about a year and a half ago I drove down a long paved, driveway with my longtime girlfriend, Kia, sitting beside me. The closer we got, the more it seemed we were traveling back in time a century or two. The blue and gold Victorian mansion we approached was huge. Its multiple gables, scalloped shingles and two enormous turrets shone brightly in the sunlight. The house had looked impressive on the inn’s website, but seeing it in person was something else. Kia gestured toward the conifers lining the driveway.

“Those must be the yew trees they mentioned on the site,” she said.

“Oh, the trees are a thing?”

“Duh, George. Didn’t you read the details online? There was a whole history there.”

“I was too busy thinking about the history we’re gonna make,” I answered.

Okay, straight up: Kia and I are swingers. We’ve been in the scene for a decade, and we’re always looking for opportunities for new sexcapades. I’m an average Joe of 41. If people are attracted to me, it’s because of my fun-loving personality. Kia, though, is a stunningly beautiful natural blonde of 34 with a trim, athletic body. Lifestyle friends tolerate me. They adore Kia.

A few years ago, we began seeing ads for this inn. They popped up on lifestyle-friendly sites. Then we began hearing about it from Jen and Del, a swinging couple we’ve been friends with for several years. They lived only 50 miles from this spectacular Queen Anne-style bed-and-breakfast. Del described its elegant rooms, immaculately landscaped grounds and endless opportunities for naughty fun. The inn had once been the home of a local timber baron. Located just off a major freeway in the Pacific Northwest, it’s situated a few miles from a big casino, with several hotels and a convention center nearby.

Kia’s job is what had brought an opportunity for us to stay within this hub of activity. She works in hospitality, and a major trade convention was scheduled at the center that week. We live about 300 miles away, but when we realized that the inn was located near the convention center, we made a plan: Kia would attend a few meetings at the conference, and we would see what trouble we could find at the inn after hours.

The large, ornate front door was propped open as we approached the entrance. Inside we found the establishment’s hostess, Ella, seated behind a mahogany writing desk. Having seen her picture on the website, I recognized her immediately. She was a cheerful, buxom blonde. Her fuzzy sky-blue sweater showcased her curviest attributes. She was well into her 60s, but still a knockout.

“We’re Kia and George,” I said. “We spoke with you on the phone.”

“Welcome, my dears!” she trilled. “You couldn’t have picked a more gorgeous day to visit.”

We chatted awhile, but she said nothing about swinger stuff. Jen and Del had explained to us that Ella and her husband, Phil, kept the sexier components of the place on the down low. The website billed the inn as “a place where loving couples can rekindle the flame.” That tended to keep families with large broods away from the premises. Still, unsuspecting “vanilla” couples sometimes showed up at their doorstep.

Del stressed that discretion was the name of the game. Yes, lusty shenanigans went on behind closed doors, but those doors were made of heavy oak. The walls were 99 percent soundproof. A full-tilt orgy could be happening one suite over, but you’d likely never hear a peep.

We’d hoped Jen and Del could join us that weekend, but they had family obligations. Their daughter had a high-school speech tournament that week, and they were signed up as drivers and chaperones. “Another time,” they told us.

Our first afternoon was uneventful. After we unloaded our things in a commodious, beautifully appointed suite, we drove to the convention center. Kia registered for the conference, then we checked out the casino for a half hour or so and enjoyed cocktails and dinner. It was late when we got back to the inn. We felt sexy in the huge bed with its luxurious linens. My tongue tickled Kia’s sweet clit, then she reached for her vibrator and brought herself to a quiet orgasm. She sucked my cock for a while after that, but I was just too sleepy. We both drifted off into contented slumber.

About 6 a.m., I remember vaguely hearing Kia’s alarm, followed by the sounds of her showering, dressing and heading off to the conference. I remained pretty much dead to the world until about nine o’clock when I woke up thinking about breakfast.

In the dining area downstairs I found a chatty couple who seemed to be in their mid-70s. Ann and Walt quickly introduced themselves. Soon a short, wiry man of about 60 appeared to take my breakfast order. I recognized him as Ella’s husband, Phil.

“Glad you found the joint!” he said enthusiastically. “I met your better half this morning. Sorry she didn’t have time for breakfast with us. Lovely lady!”

Soon three newcomers joined us: an attractive 20-something couple and a 50-ish single man, who turned out to be a longtime friend of Ann and Walt. The young couple — Gina and Brett — were both short of stature. Gina was an Italian-American brunette, with a killer body and a gorgeous mane of wavy hair. Brett, on the other hand was fair-featured, with a wrestler’s build.

We all got to know one another as we enjoyed the leisurely, elaborate breakfast. Ann and Walt were celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary.

“We wanted to go somewhere really romantic,” said Ann. “The brochures don’t do justice to this place, do they?”

“I’m their chaperone on this trip,” said their pal Perry, with a gleam in his eye.” I can’t let them get into trouble they can’t handle.”

“You see what we have to put up with?” said Walt. “Perry expects us to have lights out at 9:30. He doesn’t want us to have any fun at all.”

Gina and Brett were also celebrating a wedding anniversary: their first.

“We thought about visiting colonial Williamsburg,” said Gina. “This place sounded a lot more… interesting.”

I kept wondering who among us knew about the sexier side of the inn. Nobody said anything explicit, but every sentence spoken over breakfast seemed as if it were laden with innuendo.

As we finished eating, we all agreed to meet at one o’clock near the pool at the back of the mansion for some sunbathing. There was also a large hot tub on the adjacent deck.

“If you didn’t bring a swimsuit, we can take care of you,” said Phil.

“I’ve fallen for that line before,” said Ann, giggling. “I won’t say what happened.”

The pool turned out to be larger than I’d expected, and the lush landscaping around the deck was as impressive as the rest of the place. Soon we were all sprawled on beach chairs, soaking up the late-spring rays. All, that is, but Ann and Walt, who shaded themselves under a striped umbrella and were forever applying sunscreen to their arms and legs.

Apparently, Gina and Brett were sun worshippers as well as gym rats. Their bronzed, toned bodies could have belonged to magazine models. Gina was enticing in her zebra-striped bikini. I lay on my stomach to hide the erection that her near-nakedness had provoked.

“He let go with a loud guttural sound as he exploded in her pussy.”

Perry, who’d taken the deck chair beside mine, told me all about Ann and Walt. They had been best friends of his former landlord, who was now deceased.

“They’re quite the adventurers,” he added. “Don’t let their ‘grandma’ and ‘grandpa’ exteriors fool you.”

Finally, I thought. Here’s my chance to mention the elephant in the room — or, rather, the one on the sundeck.

“I was wondering about them,” I said. “I’m surprised to find senior citizens here. I know this place has, you know,  a reputation.”

“Hell, they’ve been swingers for decades,” said Perry. “They’re semi-retired from the scene, but they still like the vibe.”

He then filled me in on all he knew about how things stood. He, too, liked to swing, but he was currently un-partnered and going stag. He had just met Gina and Brett and had learned they were definitely wise to the scene and up for more than just a romantic anniversary.

“I think they might go for you and your girlfriend,” he added. “Gina’s had her eyes on you since breakfast.”

On hearing that, I had to think of worldwide famine to keep my penis from stiffening further.

But I didn’t need that distraction for long. Soon after, out came Ella, making a grand entrance, wearing revealing swimwear — with fringe, no less! Christ, the woman had big tits. She brought a large pitcher of lemonade, and a bottle of vodka to spike it. Everyone imbibed, even Ann and Walt, who were soon napping peacefully beneath their umbrella.

Perry eventually invited all of us — including the recently awakened older couple — to join him in his private suite in a half hour or so for another round of drinks and munchies.

“We’re definitely in,” said Brett. “You joining us, George?”

I was thinking of Kia, wishing she were not at the damned conference. Gina seemed to read my mind.

“Too bad your girlfriend can’t join us,” she said.

“She’ll be back later in the afternoon.”

“That’s good. Poor thing — off working, while the rest of us are having fun. You should come along.”

“For a little while,” I said, relenting.

“Ann? Walt? How about you?” asked Perry.

Walt gulped down the last of his lemonade cocktail. He smiled cagily.

“You young folks go have your fun,” he said. “Ann and I will put ourselves in Ella and Phil’s capable hands.”

He stared into the distance. His eyes were fixed on Ella, who was sauntering back out on the deck, bearing another pitcher of lemonade. She strode like a post-menopausal version of the “Girl from Ipanema.” 

“I’m sure they’ve got some old board games stashed away for you somewhere in that big barn,” said Perry to Walt, teasingly. “Candy Land? Operation?”

“Something like that,” said Walt, adjusting his walking shorts, which seemed to have bunched at his crotch.

An hour later, I was sipping a martini in Perry’s suite, watching as Brett and Perry sprawled on the king-size bed, nuzzling and kissing Gina. All three of them wore white terry-cloth robes and nothing else. I was in my shorts and a T-shirt.

“You’re welcome to join us, George,” said Gina, already in the throes of excitement.

“That’s okay,” I said. “I won’t play if Kia’s not here.”

I’d been tempted by the bad angel sitting on one shoulder, but the good angel on the other had won out.

Earlier, when I’d left the deck to go back to my own suite to shower, I’d texted Kia to let her know of the afternoon’s intriguing developments. “Won’t do anything w/o you,” I’d thumbed.

“Wouldn’t blame you, but damn, wish I was there,” she texted back.

“No worries. Sure we’ll get chance later,” I replied.

Kia sent back a smiley-face emoji.

“I can leave you three alone, if you want privacy,” I said now, to the three horny people on Perry’s bed. 

“Don’t be silly,” said Gina. “Stay. Watch. Enjoy. Brett and I like being ogled.”

“Kia’s breasts bounced and swayed madly as he slammed into her.”

Soon all robes were discarded. Brett and Perry feasted with gluttonous abandon on Gina’s sumptuous breasts, which had a sharp tan line running an inch or so above her pretty pointed nipples. As the guys kissed and tongued her mounds, their stiff dongs bobbed eagerly. Eventually, Perry moved to the foot of the bed, so his tongue could lap at Gina’s drooling crotch. He stroked the small manicured patch of hair above her slit before concentrating his mouth’s efforts on her hard clit. She shuddered a little as he sucked the magic button. Brett, meanwhile, had moved his hard-on up to her face. She flicked at the knob of his prick with her deft tongue.

“You like what you see?” Gina asked me.

“God, no. It’s terrible,” I deadpanned ironically. “It’s blinding my eyes.”

The guys shifted so both their dicks were in reach of Gina’s hungry mouth. She licked a glob of pre-come from the slit of Perry’s erection, which by my estimation had to have been an eight-incher. She sucked one man’s cock, then the other’s, lavishing them with lusty attention.

The blowjobs went on for a minute or two, and then the condoms came out. The trio segued to a DP situation. Perry lay on his back so Gina could straddle him. Brett was driven to distraction by this, and his helmet-headed dick was soon thrusting roughly into her pert butt hole. Moans grew louder until the boys erupted — Perry first, Brett seconds later. Then Perry got off the bed and watched attentively as Brett brought Gina to a squirming orgasm with his hand.

I had never felt hornier in my life than I did after their show was over. The three performers, however, were exhausted. They collapsed in a pile on the big bed.

“Thanks guys,” I said quietly. I slipped out of the room and headed back to my suite.

Kia returned from the conference an hour later.

“Sweetie, I need you to finish what you started last night,” I said, referencing her unfinished blowjob. “I’m as randy as a sailor in a cathouse. Pretty please?”

She smiled and unbuckled my belt.

“Pardon me if I don’t last very long,” I said.

Kia, however, managed to keep the blowjob going for a good 10 minutes or so. She did this routine where she starts by teasing the tip of my penis with her tongue and then gradually takes more and more of it into her mouth until finally she’s deep-throating me like a veteran porn diva. Pushing my member to the back of her throat, I felt the surge erupt. I pulled out just in time to blast several jets of hot semen onto her pretty face. She wiped a dollop from her eyebrow with her finger and savored it.

“You’re beet red,” she said afterward. “Did you forget your sunscreen in all the excitement today? How unfortunate.”

“I’m burning with passion, that’s all,” I said, wiping the rest of the semen from her face.

That evening, Kia and I had a romantic dinner at a restaurant a few miles down the freeway. Then we went to the casino again to hear a jazz combo at one of the lounges. It was past 10 when we arrived back at the inn. We decided to go down to the deck and relax in the hot tub.

We donned our swimwear and flip-flops and grabbed our towels. When we passed the dining area, we found Ella sharing a bottle of wine with Ann. I’d told Kia about the old-timers’ likely fourway with Ella and Phil, and now she suppressed a giggle as she said hello to the two women.

“The hot tub’s all fired up,” Ella said. “Y’all don’t need your swimming togs, ya know.”

The lighting on the deck was like something from a movie. Strands of electric lights on the yew trees made the water in the pool and hot tub sparkle.

“I’m following Ella’s order,” I said, shucking my swimming trunks and easing into the bubbling water.

“I think it was an option, not an order,” said Kia sardonically. She removed her bikini top but left on the bottom portion of her suit. Her small, beautiful breasts appeared to float tantalizingly in the churning water. We sat back together, closed our eyes and enjoyed the cool breeze that wafted over the tub and made the cool air steamy.

“Here’s George!” said a female voice. “And this must be Kia.”

It was Gina, wearing her terry-cloth robe and nothing else.

“The working girl finally decided to have some fun, huh?” teased Brett, who also wore his white robe.

When the introductions were over, the robes came off, and the naked duo climbed into the tub to sit across from us. The color of the lights shifted, bathing their smooth skin in hues of blue and purple.

We made small talk for a while. Gina and Brett took to Kia the way most people do. Occasionally, I felt Gina’s toes brush my shins, and eventually we had quite the game of footsie going. My hard-on made yet another appearance. It was certainly becoming a persistent little visitor there at the inn.

Soon, it was clear that Kia and Brett were also playing some kind of submarine game. Before long the four of us had clumped together in the center of the water, our limbs in a hot tangle.

 “What do you say we take this inside to our suite?” Brett suggested. There were no naysayers.

We dried off, covered ourselves and crept back into the mansion. A light was on in the dining area, but Ella and Ann were gone. Their empty wine bottle was left behind on the table.

Ten minutes later, four hungry, naked bodies were pleasuring one another on the bed in Brett and Gina’s suite. We’d all showered quickly in their bathroom, but our skin was still scented with chlorine — a sexy, summery aroma.

I lay on my stomach, feasting on Gina’s hot, juicy cunt as she sprawled in front of me on her back with her legs spread wide. Kia, meanwhile, straddled Gina’s face, grinding her twat onto her new friend’s mouth while she simultaneously sucked Brett’s thick prick. We were one big pleasure machine, with all of our working parts oiled and operating in perfect synchronization. I gradually became more aggressive, slathering Gina’s clit furiously with my tongue. This made her munch Kia’s snatch with increased vigor. Kia’s ignited passion, in turn, led her to suck Brett harder. He grunted as he thrust his rod deep into her throat.

“I pulled out just in time to blast hot semen onto her pretty face.”

Then we found condoms and paired off for the main event. I screwed Gina in missionary position, while Brett took Kia doggy-style. Gina’s vagina was sloppy with her love juices and my slobber, and I felt an intense orgasm approaching. I was pushed toward the brink watching Brett fuck my girlfriend vigorously. His hands were on her hips as he pulled her back to the hilt of his rigid sex-sword. Kia’s breasts bounced and swayed madly as he slammed into her with the abandon of a lust-crazed Viking warrior. He’d seemed like such a nice, quiet guy before. It turned me on that Kia had transformed him into a wild man. He let go with a loud guttural sound as he exploded in her pussy. Within seconds, I ejaculated in Gina’s wet hole.

The four of us spent the night in that bed together and had another round of sex in the morning. Gina and Brett then reminded us that they needed to pack up and leave. They were headed north for the rest of their anniversary trip. We were sorry to see them go, as we were staying one more night at the inn.

It was quiet at the breakfast table that day. Perry, Ann and Walt had also left earlier that morning. Kia and I had a pleasant, polite chat with Ella and Phil.

All of a sudden, I felt someone place their hands over my eyes, and I heard a female voice say, “Guess who!” A man’s voice said the same thing to Kia.

It was our old friends Jen and Del! It seems their daughter’s speech team had crapped out at the tournament, and they were free to cut out. They’d checked in late the previous night.

It would take as many words as I’ve already used to tell you what went on among the four of us in the following 24 hours. So I’ll have to leave it to your imaginations. Suffice it to say our gracious hosts Ella and Phil did everything imaginable to make the rest of our stay a memorable one. They get a five-star rating for sure!

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