My fiancée is passive in bed, and I’d like her to be more aggressive.

How can I get her to loosen up and take the reins? — S.O., Florida

It depends on her temperament. With some women, you can have a frank conversation about your sexual desires. Since you’re asking to mix things up occasionally and not introducing some kind of fetish, a simple, direct conversation should be enough.

If you’re not comfortable having that conversation, however, you can drop hints instead. Take her lingerie shopping and pick out something your fantasy domme would wear, or get her in a sexy cop costume. Women love presents, and a change in wardrobe can lead to a change in attitude. It’s not particularly subtle, but it’ll definitely clue her in to your desires.

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