1 — Fifi
My first night in jail was the worst. I had been in a strip club just hours earlier and I still carried the sexy scents that permeate such establishments: cigarette smoke, coconut lotion, spilled beer, etc. That, coupled with the fact that I once was an international (hand) model, made me the sexiest inmate in the building and my milkshake brought all the boys to the yard. I was chum in the water and within minutes of entering general population the sharks began to circle. I was certain that I’d be sodomized before midnight. I tried to think positive thoughts but, like a passenger on a bus on the verge of pissing his pants who only thinks of the ocean, I could only think about the broomstick scene in “Shawshank Redemption.”

By nothing short of a miracle my butthole was spared when, in some... Leer Más