“Sometimes in the fog of peacetime you commit unspeakable acts of privacy violation against your fellow soldiers.”

Headline from The Onion? Yes, indeed. Does the satirical bent there get to the heart of a scandal so wretched it’s hard to fathom those perpetuating it ever swore an oath to our country? Also yes.

The Marine nude photo scandal has proven to be a hydra in the already crowded news cycles of 2017. Just when you think it’s over and done with, another element of the scandal emerges, leading to another story, which in turn leads to more callouts by those involved before they disappear again into the tangles of the internet. It’s a shitshow, and none of it’s good for our beloved U.S. Marine Corps.

First, a quick refresher on how we got here: For a couple years, various social media groups made up of active — duty servicemembers and recent veterans (like the most infamous one, Marines United on Facebook) have been swapping nude photos of exes. Some of these exes are servicemembers or vets themselves, and a sort of perv — hunt mentality took hold: “Hey, does anyone have photos of Lance Corporal Y? She’s hot and stationed at Twentynine Palms, and the only chance I’ll ever have to see her naked is this online forum!” Etcetera etcetera. (No, we’re not exactly dealing with the alpha dogs here, despite their desperate attempts to appear as such.)

Oh, and I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention that these fellow Marines and servicemembers were being referred to as “wooks.” Lol? Or something.

Defenders of Marines United and its follow — up groups — well, not defenders, exactly, more like apologists — employ the timeless “boys will be boys” logic. Which exists, sure, but like anything else it has its strict limits. I’ve been in locker rooms. I spent many of my college years in a frat house. My four years in the Army and my fifteen months in Iraq were spent entirely in all — male cavalry and infantry units. I know well and understand “boys will be boys.” Even under the laxest understanding of that concept, trading nudes of (again) FELLOW MARINES AND SERVICEMEMBERS does not qualify. Not even close.

Not trying to be Mister Woke here or anything. But for fuck’s sake. The first lesson I got going into the military was: Don’t be a douchebag. And I know that’s still common wisdom for young guns heading off to basic training and officer candidate school.

“Give it whatever psychological label you want: toxic masculinity, cultural tribalism gone awry, jackassery carried out by jackasses. Revenge porn is a crime.”

Reading through the social media sites and the media interviews with admins and members of those sites, there’s a real sense of empty self — pity and deep self — involvement. They’ve pointed to the groups’ support systems and antisuicide work for the reasoning behind the groups’ existence. Which, yes, is swell and a testament to outreach efforts in the digital era. But those things could happen without the vile photo — swapping. Everything about this is awful and repulsive, and not unrelated to the entitlement mentality pervasive in veterans culture. There’s “Us,” conveys these groups. And then there’s “Them.” Included in “Them” are civilians we’ve sworn to serve and protect, and (yes, again) fellow Marines and servicemembers.

Selfless service. A military value that’s been eroded by sixteen years of perpetual warfare and yellow — ribbon patriotism. And something these fucking jackalopes would be wise to revisit before they talk to another journalist.

Give it whatever psychological label you want: toxic masculinity, cultural tribalism gone awry, jackassery carried out by jackasses. Revenge porn is a crime. And further, these Marines and vets have dishonored the services, at the expense of their (yes, yet again) fellow Marines and servicemembers. As a Marine vet friend of mine recently said over beers while discussing it all, “What don’t these assholes not understand? Keep our honor clean.” (A reference to the Marines’ Hymn.)

Which brings me to solutions. The military is a top — down bureaucracy, so it’s understandable enough for outsiders and citizens to be looking at the Pentagon brass and saying, “WTF? Fix this.”

But if the Congressional hearing in March addressing this scandal revealed anything, it’s that a top — down approach probably isn’t going to work. Critics accused General Robert Neller, Commandant of the Marines, and other leaders of being dismissive and/or unresponsive at the hearing. That wasn’t my takeaway from it, though. They just seemed like overwhelmed olds, flabbergasted at every part of this — the photos themselves, that people would share those photos, that groups would be formed to helped share photos, and so on.

It’s a brave new world. If you haven’t had the dick — pic/boob — shot conversation with your Baby Boomer parents or friends… well, I can’t say that I recommend it, exactly, but it can serve as a good reminder of how much technology shapes what we consider “normal.”

Anyhow. Back to solutions.

A striking thing about all this is how the scandal has come out into the open. It’s been young Marine veterans turned journalists — such as Brian Adam Jones of Task & Purpose, Thomas Brennan of The War Horse, and James LaPorta of The Daily Beast — who’ve outed the groups and some of the individuals involved. Marines taking it upon themselves to clean up their Corps. This has led to unfortunate (albeit predictable) trolling backlash, including threats against Brennan’s wife and daughter. Threatening the family of an infantry Marine vet with a Purple Heart earned in combat — what does it take to get a person to that level of pathetic madness?

Jones’s reporting suggested a theory. A couple years ago, before this made national news via Marines United, Jones came upon Marines and vets time and time again who presented themselves as decorated grunts but who’d actually spent their time in uniform as support. POGs, REMFs, fobbits, and so on. The mockery of the support branches is way overblown — after all, the infantry wouldn’t last a day without those support units bringing home the logistics and firepower — but it is rather revealing of these individuals’ mind — sets. Why present yourself as the “Tip of the Spear” when you were anything but?

Posers, man. And in some cases, the very same posers desperate to make it seem like women Marines aren’t their fellow Marines, but “wooks.” Clown — shoes, the lot of ’em. Maybe if they’d spent as much time focusing on bettering themselves and their units as they are trying to be able to keep swapping photos of women better than them, they’d have done something with their time in service actually worth crowing about.

Alas, they didn’t. And now they’re trying to dirty up the Corps on their ways out. Spoiler alert: That ain’t gonna happen.

I don’t know when this’ll end. But I do know how. It’s going to take a holistic flushing — out of these fools, a bottom — up approach that’ll involve lance corporals as much as it does generals. But it’s going to happen, and when it does, the Marines and all the military branches will be the better for it. Keeping the honor clean, one fireteam at a time.

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