My boyfriend has kids, and he recently invited me to spend the weekend with them.

At night, after they were in bed, he tried to initiate sex, but I was uncomfortable doing it with the kids down the hall. How do I get over this fear? — T.V., Tennessee

It’s going to take some time to get used to, especially if you’ve never been with someone who has kids before. Start by having sex at his house when the kids aren’t there. Not only are you getting accustomed to being intimate in that environment, but you can use this opportunity to road test the bed and fix any joints or springs that may squeak or knock. You’ll feel more comfortable with the quiet and so will everyone else.

With kids in the house you’ll probably be confined to having sex in the bedroom, so make sure it’s completely clear of debris like toys and children’s clothes. Get a lock for the bedroom door and bring in iPod speakers or a stereo. A little bit of music can go a long way when it comes to keeping you in the moment. Now the kids can’t walk in on you or hear you enjoying each other, as long as you keep it moderately quiet.

The best time to get intimate is after the kids are asleep, before they get up in the morning or while they’re distracted by a DVD, video game or other activity (assuming they’re old enough for that). And if you can’t bring yourself to get off, please give your man a nice quiet blowjob. It’s really sweet that he’s trying to integrate you into his family life and introduce you to his kids. That means he thinks a lot of you and wants to keep you around. And a blowjob could lead to sex —

This column doesn’t constitute medical or professional advice. Always consult a qualified health care professional for your medical, psychological, or relationship problems.