An enormous clotted mass of grease and garbage has been found in the sewers of London’s East End.
The “fatberg” is comprised of all kinds of modern-world goodies: cooking oil, diapers, wet wipes, condoms, tampons, and other delectable things that people shouldn’t flush down the toilet but do.
Fortunately, the poor sods at Thames Water, the capital’s utility, have partnered with sustainable biodiesel producer Argent Energy to convert the 143-ton “rancid blob” into 2,643 gallons of “pure green fuel,” said Thames Water manager Alex Saunders.
Engineers found the fatberg while doing a routine check of the sewers. The massive “cement-like plug” extended through 820 feet of Victorian-era pipes, the length of two football fields. And because we know you’re all wondering, the smell of it was described as a combination of filthy toilets and rancid meat. (You’re welcome!)
To keep the mass from flooding nearby streets, eight lucky workers got to break it up with high-pressure water jets and hand tools. They then sent the loosened hunks of nastiness to a processing plant to separate the oils and fats and convert them to biodiesel. (FYI, biodiesel is a fuel that burns cleaner than fossil-derived diesel.) Meanwhile, the Museum of London hopes to acquire a cross section of the fatberg for its collection.
The moral of this story? Human beings are pigs and it’s high time we wake the fuck up and stop flushing whatever we don’t feel like dealing with down the toilet — diapers, wipes, condoms, what have you. Wrap that shit up and throw it in the trash, people!
And as far as cooking oil goes, Brits should take a page from the American handbook of class and etiquette and pour it in their neighbor's yard.