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In strip clubs and burlesque shows, the strip is about the tease. Those are look-but-don’t-touch situations, strictly by professionals for the dollahs. However, you should absolutely try this at home. Stripping for your lover as the appetizer to a full-course sexual feast builds delicious tension.
The best stripping combines psychology, sexuality, and theater. A strip-joint dancer’s goal is to use moves that prolong anticipation so the customer wants her to keep going—and will hit the ATM multiple times just to get teased some more. As a burlesque performer, the goal is to make a theatrical event out of the everyday act of removing clothing. I’ll share the tastiest tidbits of expertise from both styles to help give you the best one-on-one striptease experience around!
Prepare to Bare: Undress Rehearsal
Girl, you’ve got to put it on if you want to take it off!
You don’t need to do any choreography, as 5-6-7-8 can really interfere with the intensity of your interaction with your lover. However, you really do need to know how these things come off. You want to look like you’re concentrating on the look in your lover’s eyes, not on difficult buttons and hooks, so test all your clothing for smooth removal.
If you’re really into humor, it can be endearing and hilarious to struggle out of a pair of skinny jeans, as long as you know that’s how it’s going to be. However, your lover has probably seen you do that plenty of times. You want to be able to impress him with your ease and grace, so choose clothing that comes off in a way that’s easy and fun. A dress with a side zipper (which I don’t recommend) will usually only come off over your head and is a recipe for disaster because it can catch on your hair and jewelry and smear your makeup. Smeared makeup can be hot—and hopefully that’s what all of this is leading up to—but it’s a bit early in the game for that.
One exception might be if you’re a skilfull hair tosser, in which case pulling your T-shirt over your head and flinging your tousled mane is a prime option. Watch some ’80s rock videos and get your groupie hair swish on!
Choose your makeup carefully. You don’t want to get lipstick or mascara on your man’s expensive suit and trousers. Be careful about perfume, too. Instead of trying out a new one for your dance, make sure it’s a scent he likes. You never know when you just might accidentally pick his old girlfriend’s fragrance—or worse, his mother’s!
Key tip: It’s more fun to take off a few things slowly than many things quickly. If you’re taking your time, a dress and lingerie are more than enough to keep you busy for two or three songs.

Location, Location, Location: Setting Him Up
Any place you feel comfortable getting busy afterwards is great, from the backyard to the bedroom, and hotel rooms are outstanding. For the purpose of this article, though, let’s start in the living room, so you can have the pleasure of leading your partner to the bedroom afterward. Think about your partner’s comfort and your ability to move around him in the room. Give your man a comfortable, sturdy chair or put him on the couch. Make sure you’ll be able to lean against him without knocking him over. You want to be able to sit on his lap and straddle him if you like. You also want to make sure you have a place to toss your clothes so that you won’t be tripping over them during your dance or afterward, so plan ahead to have a place to toss them, such as
a nearby easy chair.
Before you begin, bring your lover his favorite beverage and light candles in jars (you don’t want to have to worry about putting them out in the middle of doing it doggie-style) or drape a scarf over a lamp with a shade big enough to protect it from the heat of the light bulb. It establishes that the show is starting, and he’ll become ready to take on the role of the passive audience being entertained by you, the dominant partner onstage. It should be bright enough to see, of course, because seeing is the point. Just let the change in lighting establish that this is no ordinary night.
Tunes for the Tease: Know Your Music
Music choice is crucial. First and foremost, you have to find music that really moves you. If it’s just what you think is supposed to be sexy, and it doesn’t suit your tastes, it won’t work. You may want to ask your man a few days ahead of time if there are any songs he likes to hear while making love, and choose your favorites from those.

I recommend a playlist rather than a choreographed routine, so you can just keep going and going and going until you’re both on fire.
A common pitfall of choosing music is discovering lyrics that, upon actually listening, aren’t sexy. “Private Dancer,” for instance, is a song about being depressed while dancing for repulsive men in order to get their desperately-needed money. Listen to the lyrics of sexy songs like Beyonce’s “Dance For You,” “Giving Him Something He Can Feel” by En Vogue, and the Nina Simone tune “Do I Move You.” Unless you’re experienced at lip-synching, trying to do it and flubbing it will make you look like a flabber-mouthed hot mess; even if you are great at lip-synch, it could direct attention away from your body and your dance.

One more point: It’s often more powerful for women to dance to songs sung by women and for men to dance to songs sung by men (“Ride My Pony” is way sexier and more charming when the dancer is male). But kinky gender fuckery can be fun, too!

Top Six Sexy Stripper Moves: Tips for Hypnotic Hips
Taking off your clothes is where the majority of the movement takes place. In burlesque, we call it the choreography of events, since you plan actions, such as undoing a zipper, instead of just doing dance moves. However, there is music playing, and the perfect dance moves make striptease more than just taking off your clothes.
The Full-Body Sway
Stand with your feet together and slowly shift your weight from one leg to the other, bending the knee of the leg from which you’re removing the weight over the straightened knee of the other leg. While you sway, let your hands move slowly and gracefully on your hips and over your torso and arms.
The Shoulder Shimmy
Take it sweet and easy. Keep your chest forward. Gently shake your shoulders by bringing one forward an inch and then dropping it back when you bring the other shoulder forward an inch, repeating quickly but lightly, as if you were mixing a martini in between your breasts and swirling the ice to keep the liquor from bruising. In fact, feel free to mix a martini in just this way!
The Leg Quiver
Shift all your weight onto your left leg, lock the knee on that leg, and gently shake your right, keeping it lightly braced on your big toe. It’s the same pace as the little leg shake we do at our desks sitting on hold during a phone call, but you’ll do it while standing. It makes your butt shimmy ever so slightly, reminding him of how it looks when he’s behind you during sex and his hips hit yours.
The Bend
Whenever you bend over, take your time and hinge from the hips. This means arching your back while bringing your tailbone up in the direction of your shoulder blades. If you’re not incredibly flexible, that’s fine. You don’t have to bend over very far to get the message across.
The Folded Arm Stroke
Bring your upper arms against the sides of your rib cage and fold your arms under your breasts, creating a sexy shelf and frame. Lightly stroke your upper arms with your fingers. Squeeze your upper arms together for cleavage, lean forward, give him a kiss, and let your hands tantalizingly brush his thighs as you slowly straighten up.
The Sit and Stand
Raise your right heel so you’re on the ball of your foot and kneel with your butt on your heels while your hands rest on your knees. Relax there for a moment, barely bounce once, then straighten your right leg and come up as if lifted by your tail bone. Once your right leg is straight, let your torso straighten up and your shoulders drop back.
A Few of My Favorite Things: Techniques for Smooth Take-Off
Zipper-Back Dress
Start out by doing the sway, then turn and show your back. Look over your shoulder and bring both your hands up to frame the zipper. Lightly trace the top of the zipper and use one hand to brace it while you use the other to slowly peel it down, inch by inch, as your hips undulate. Let him see your bra strap, your sexy spine, your panties, and lower the dress below your ass, then turn back around just as he gets a glimpse of that. Hold the dress up and slowly lower it to show your bra, belly, hips, then finally let it drop. Slide your right ankle against your left leg up to the knee, step back out of the dress, and then step your left foot up and out of the dress. Do the Sit and Stand to reach down for the dress and pick it up. You can drape it on him or set it aside, but do so as deliberately as possible, letting him know that even your slightest, most casual move is worth watching.
Shoes and Stockings
Wear shoes that slip off easily so he’s not watching you struggle with buckles. Feel free to sit next to him or on his lap to take them off and then set them gently to the side. Look down at your garter and unhook it, then stretch it out and look back up at him and let it snap back. Be sure to rehearse so you know your garters well—it’s a bitch when they stick! If anything goes wrong, just slow down, take more time to do it, and feel free to enlist his help. Undo all the garters first, wriggling on his lap and grinding your butt teasingly onto his cock just the dirtiest little bit.
As you take off the stockings, roll one down and off quickly, then slowly remove the other, bringing the top of it over your leg so it turns inside out. The stocking has to be lowered past your knee joint before you bring it back up to stretch it out and pop it off your toe. Then straddle him, brushing your cheek against his, and wriggle a bit more before you take your sweet time standing up.
Bra
Look him in the eye and do the Folded Arm Stroke. Slide your left hand up and drop your right bra strap, turning your shoulder slightly toward him. Do the same on the other side. Turn around, reach behind you, and let him see you undo the bra. Make sure before you do this routine that the hooks on the back of the bra are easy to undo; if they’re bent, you can raise them a bit with tweezers. Turn back around, cup your hands under your boobs, pull your left arm through the left bra strap, and let the bra fall down your right arm into your right hand. Toss it and do a Shoulder Shimmy.
Panties
Put your hands flat on your hips, turn around, and show him your back. Do a Leg Shimmy and look at him over your shoulder. Have him inch your panties past your cheeks. Turn back to him, drop the panties, do a Sit and Stand to pick them up, and put them into his hands.

A Few Tips To Remember
Touch yourself. If you see a couple on a date and the woman is looking into the man’s eyes and touching herself, you know she’s attracted to him. The classic strip-joint stripper move in which she runs her hands up her sides, through her hair, and back down over her chest never fails to devastate, because it conveys both the confidence of self-love (“I love touching my body. It feels fantastic!”) and flirtatious appeal (When I think about you, I touch myself!”)
Be true to yourself. If any of the particular methods outlined here don’t work for you, simply think about the effect of the moves described and the psychology behind the techniques, then apply them to something that feels more personal and right for you.
See your lover. One of the most important tips to remember is to look into and pay attention to your partner’s eyes. This is not about staring like a lizard, but about being prepared to hold a gaze and thinking about what your lover can see. We’re raised watching TV and movies featuring multiple camera angles, but in a striptease, there’s only one angle: toward your partner’s eyes. Make sure you give them something to see every second.
Most importantly, you know your lover. You know his tastes, his hot spots, and his sense of humor. Knowing your audience is half the battle. And remember, it’s about you having fun. There’s no one sexier than someone who’s having a good time! Everybody wants to get next to that!
For the Boys: Turnabout is Foreplay
Want to surprise your lady? Give her a striptease! Check out the tips above, and follow these tips for articles of men’s clothing. Strip out of a suit and tie. Wearing a suit sets up a special feeling, as if you knew she was coming and you baked her a cake.
Necktie
When you remove it, it’s like you’re saying, “Baby, work is over, and now it’s time to play, and I’m totally here just for you.” Remove your tie while you’re looking into her eyes and then drape your necktie around her neck.
Belt
Take it off slowly. Let her grab the buckle and then back away from her slowly, helping it slide out of the loops with your hand if it isn’t coming out smoothly enough. Then walk back to her and take it out of her hands. Fold it, snap it, grin, and toss it away.
Jacket and Shirt
Pretend you’re an old-school stripper. Turn your right shoulder toward her, pull the jacket off that shoulder, roll that shoulder, and then turn the other shoulder toward her and do the same thing. Let the jacket slide down your arms into your hands as you roll your shoulders. Catch it with one hand and toss it out of the way. Unbutton your first shirt button slowly, staring into her eyes, then undo the rest quickly. As you unbutton, don’t let the shirt come all the way open just yet. Take her hands and put them under your shirt onto your chest. Let her feel it before she sees it. Wear a cheap undershirt. Prepare beforehand by cutting a little slit in the middle of the front so you can grab the collar and easily tear the shirt down the middle. She’ll probably gasp and laugh when you do this. Put her hands back on your chest, hold them there, and slowly lift one and kiss it. Be the dude you always wanted to be!
Pants
Remember that there’s almost nothing sexier than the sound of a zipper going down! Look into her eyes as you inch it down, and both of you will probably laugh. If she tilts her head down to look, gently turn her chin back up and give her a kiss. Let your pants drop, step out of them one leg at a time, and lean down to pick them up while staring into her eyes. Then take her hand to lead her into the bedroom!
A premiere authority on burlesque, Jo Weldon is founder and Headmistress of The New York School of Burlesque and author of The Burlesque Handbook. For more info, log onto www.schoolofburlesque.com