We were on a Memorial Day weekend flight to Indianapolis for the race (do I have to tell you which race?), having been given the tickets for the flight and the race just two days before.

They came from my sister’s boyfriend Seth — they couldn’t go because of an emergency.

In casual in-flight conversation I reminded Erin that (for reasons too complicated to go into here) I never got a gift for my last birthday. She apologized and asked what a man who has everything could ever want as a re ward for the huge feat of completing 45 years on earth.

As it happened, the previous year before Erin had given me the best gift ever: our first visit to a swingers’ club. So, brushing off her sarcasm, I loaded my voice with all the sexual innuendo I could and said, “I’m not looking... Read More