The trip was originally meant for the two of us, my girlfriend of two years and me — a romantic camping trip over a long weekend.

We made a list of supplies and I even bought a new tent. Then, two weeks before the trip, I found out she was fucking her boss and had been for months. Maybe to spite her or just to get the hell away from the world and pretend she didn’t exist, I decided to take the trip anyway. I stocked my cooler with a liter of bourbon and a case of beer to keep me company.

I arrived at the campsite around 9 a.m., and by noon I’d killed off six of the beers. With the tent and the rest of my gear locked inside my car, I decided to put off unpacking until later and go for a hike to the park’s most popular attraction, a waterfall. Alone on the trail, I began complaining to the wilderness about my... Read More