My neighbor Tom and I have had a contentious relationship for years. Recently, he was doing some work on his apartment. Normally, I wouldn’t mind the disturbance. I understand construction can be necessary — and loud. But dusk fell, and I still hadn’t had a moment of peace, so I decided to give him a piece of my mind.

It didn’t help that I was … frustrated. Have you ever been so fucking horny it hurts? That’s where I was. All I wanted was a quiet evening with a glass of wine and my favorite vibrator. Instead, I was being subjected to pounding of another very annoying variety.

No more, I’d decided.

I marched across the hall and slammed my fist against Tom’s door. It took a few minutes of banging, but finally, he appeared.

Tom was shirtless and... Read More